First off, I would like to express my gratitude for the sacrifices the men and women of the Armed Services have given to protect our way of life. THANK YOU!
With this Memorial Day Special Edition of Man Code, I just want to list some things that absolutely drive me insane that "men" do and they SHOULD NOT be doing. Let's explore...
1. If you and your homeboy decide to go to the bar, movies, dinner, etc together, please, please, put a seat in between the two of you. If you are at the movies, sit a seat apart; at the bar, a seat apart; if you are at dinner, dont sit beside each other, sit across from each other and this is ONLY if the bar area has no seats available!!!!
2. Fellas, I understand it is hot but THONG FLIP FLOPS are forbidden on a man's foot. I repeat, THONG FLIP FLOPS ARE FORBIDDEN!!!! I mean, for real, anything that has the word "thong" in its name should not be worn by a man to walk around unless he is at the beach. The beach is the only place where these sandals get a pass.
3. While at the club, you and your homeboy should never, under any circumstances share a drink from the same glass. Yes, I have seen this before. At the very least, ask for another glass!!! To be honest, if we are sharing drinks at the club, maybe we should not be at the club....????
4. Speaking of the club, and I swear this irks the holy living crap out of me. Why is it when you are standing in one spot and there is a lot of real estate around you will another guy come and stand pretty much right on top of you?? Really dude, really? Why are you on me homey? There are 10 million women in here and you want to air hump me in the corner...GO OVER THERE LOSER!!!! Bottom line, respect another man's air space in crowded areas as much as possible.
5. Fellas, you are not allowed to lip synch or sing aloud the words to Beyonce's "Who Run the World (Girls)" in public. In the privacy, and I mean private as in BY YOURSELF, of your own home you can do this if you so shall please but never in public!!! By the way, this is for any song by our female counterparts. This is only allowed in demonstration or explanation.
I will stop here for now and if you feel the need to ask some basic rules to Man Code Law, please do! Another special edition will be presented for your viewing pleasures on the Fourth of July.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
UnWelcome Phenomenon - Skinny Jeans
"I am not against rappers, I am against those thugs!" - lyrics from Bones Thugs N Harmony's 90s hit "Thuggish Ruggish Bone", a throwback to when Hip Hop was still growing in its raw stage and becoming regionalized in different cities across the country. Hip Hop does not just represent the music but also the style, how you walk, talk, the clothes you wear.
Growing up, a lot of styles came about because of necessity, almost an accident that would turn into a style that was permanent rather than a fad that would run its course. For example, jeans; I remember having to buy those Levi Silver Tab jeans or just Levi's for that matter that were all snug and really tight around the areas where men should not be tight. I am like most men, we need room to breathe down there!! Now, in order to "breathe" we would have to "sag" the jeans some, pulling the jeans down but not exposing your backside arena. This was never to be disrespectful but moreso out of necessity to breathe and to be comfortable throughout the day.
When Cross Colours, Karl Kani, Used Jeans, etc arrived on the scene, they catered to that "breathing" requirement and made the jeans big enough so that we did not necessarily have to sag anymore. This new wave of jeans were stylish, baggy, and comfortable.
I am a grown-up now, or at least I pretend to be, and I do not wear jeans as often as I would like but the jeans I do wear fit. They are not too baggy but definitely not too tight. I look like a GROWN MAN!!!
"I AM NOT AGAINST JEANS, I AM AGAINST THOSE SKINNY JEANS!!!"
Call me old fashion (good Lawd, i sound like my parents) but I do not understand why our young people have taken us back twenty years with this whole skinny jeans thing. I mean, have you seen these atrocities to fashion (lmaoo)? They cant walk sometimes, at least not in a straight line, but more in a side to side type of movement. The jeans are so tight they look like they have to be painted on and how they get them off is beyond me!!! And to top it all off, they have the nerve to sag them wayyyy below the backside area and then have the nerve to have a belt on!!!!! I DONT GET IT!!!
Okay, I can admit, I maybe being a bit unreasonable and just plain old but is this suppose to be sexy or something. From a man code perspective, this is unacceptable and intolerable!! Interesting enough, I think if more young men understood that this sort of "style" comes from prison culture in which the men that were considered "man-p*ssy" (sorry for the explicit lyrics) were identified by others by the way they wore their pants, which was below the backside, they would pull them up!!!
So, in essence, we have a generation of young men adopting a prison culture for the sake of style and maybe to impress women. I BLAME THE LADIES OUT THERE!!! If women would stand up against this "style", it would not exist or at least it would go away fast. Maybe I am just old and going overboard.
Your thoughts, SPEAK OUT!!!
Growing up, a lot of styles came about because of necessity, almost an accident that would turn into a style that was permanent rather than a fad that would run its course. For example, jeans; I remember having to buy those Levi Silver Tab jeans or just Levi's for that matter that were all snug and really tight around the areas where men should not be tight. I am like most men, we need room to breathe down there!! Now, in order to "breathe" we would have to "sag" the jeans some, pulling the jeans down but not exposing your backside arena. This was never to be disrespectful but moreso out of necessity to breathe and to be comfortable throughout the day.
When Cross Colours, Karl Kani, Used Jeans, etc arrived on the scene, they catered to that "breathing" requirement and made the jeans big enough so that we did not necessarily have to sag anymore. This new wave of jeans were stylish, baggy, and comfortable.
I am a grown-up now, or at least I pretend to be, and I do not wear jeans as often as I would like but the jeans I do wear fit. They are not too baggy but definitely not too tight. I look like a GROWN MAN!!!
"I AM NOT AGAINST JEANS, I AM AGAINST THOSE SKINNY JEANS!!!"
Call me old fashion (good Lawd, i sound like my parents) but I do not understand why our young people have taken us back twenty years with this whole skinny jeans thing. I mean, have you seen these atrocities to fashion (lmaoo)? They cant walk sometimes, at least not in a straight line, but more in a side to side type of movement. The jeans are so tight they look like they have to be painted on and how they get them off is beyond me!!! And to top it all off, they have the nerve to sag them wayyyy below the backside area and then have the nerve to have a belt on!!!!! I DONT GET IT!!!
Okay, I can admit, I maybe being a bit unreasonable and just plain old but is this suppose to be sexy or something. From a man code perspective, this is unacceptable and intolerable!! Interesting enough, I think if more young men understood that this sort of "style" comes from prison culture in which the men that were considered "man-p*ssy" (sorry for the explicit lyrics) were identified by others by the way they wore their pants, which was below the backside, they would pull them up!!!
So, in essence, we have a generation of young men adopting a prison culture for the sake of style and maybe to impress women. I BLAME THE LADIES OUT THERE!!! If women would stand up against this "style", it would not exist or at least it would go away fast. Maybe I am just old and going overboard.
Your thoughts, SPEAK OUT!!!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Cheating
Two years ago it was reported that 1 in 2.7 men will cheat on their wife; that number has probably escalated to 1 in 3 men today. Worse part is that most of the wives will never know it. Being the single man that I am and having friends that are married, it is usually best that I take the "none of my business" approach to any man's indiscretions.
Does this mean that I am condoning the cheating; I mean after all, "I am my brother's keeper." Am I suppose to step up and read my homeboy the "thou shall not cheat" script? This is a grown man that knows better so will it really matter what I have to say?
But what if the situation was a little closer to home. In an earlier blog, I asked if it was okay for your homeboy to date your sister. What if your close friend broke this rule and married your sister. You know where I am going with this!!!! And now your homeboy cheats on your sister...POW! BAM! BOOM!!!
Do you say anything? If so, what do you say and who do you say it to? If not, why not?
What if the woman was a close female friend? Do you take the same approach and say anything?
Illy Jilly from Philly, Miss Jill Scott, said it best: "Your backgroung aint squeaky clean, sometimes we all have to swim upstream; you aint a saint, we all sinners, but you put your good foot down to make your soul a winner..."
Speak Out!!!
Does this mean that I am condoning the cheating; I mean after all, "I am my brother's keeper." Am I suppose to step up and read my homeboy the "thou shall not cheat" script? This is a grown man that knows better so will it really matter what I have to say?
But what if the situation was a little closer to home. In an earlier blog, I asked if it was okay for your homeboy to date your sister. What if your close friend broke this rule and married your sister. You know where I am going with this!!!! And now your homeboy cheats on your sister...POW! BAM! BOOM!!!
Do you say anything? If so, what do you say and who do you say it to? If not, why not?
What if the woman was a close female friend? Do you take the same approach and say anything?
Illy Jilly from Philly, Miss Jill Scott, said it best: "Your backgroung aint squeaky clean, sometimes we all have to swim upstream; you aint a saint, we all sinners, but you put your good foot down to make your soul a winner..."
Speak Out!!!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Permission Slips
For all those going to Essence Music Festival, a college classmate and good friend of mine has started a website called "Essence Music Festival Social" which breaks down the social scene, the good eats, and overall feel for first time "EMFers" and/or veteran Essence socialites. Please support and check out the website here.
Fellas, you have finally landed the woman of your "dreams" and she is all that and a bag of salt 'n' vinegar chips. First couple of months you want to dazzle and woo her in ways you THINK she has never been before. You are so into her that when the fellas invite you out for a "Boys Nite Out", you flake out at the last minute because your new squeeze needs you to come with her to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to look at some new drapes and towels for her bathroom.
Is this acceptable behavior for a man to cancel out on his homeboys for his woman?
Does it make a difference what stage the man and woman are at in their relationship, i.e. girlfriend, Fiance, Wife?
Is it okay for the homeboys to dog him out for said "weak" and "punk" behavior?
SPEAK OUT!!!!
Fellas, you have finally landed the woman of your "dreams" and she is all that and a bag of salt 'n' vinegar chips. First couple of months you want to dazzle and woo her in ways you THINK she has never been before. You are so into her that when the fellas invite you out for a "Boys Nite Out", you flake out at the last minute because your new squeeze needs you to come with her to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to look at some new drapes and towels for her bathroom.
Is this acceptable behavior for a man to cancel out on his homeboys for his woman?
Does it make a difference what stage the man and woman are at in their relationship, i.e. girlfriend, Fiance, Wife?
Is it okay for the homeboys to dog him out for said "weak" and "punk" behavior?
SPEAK OUT!!!!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Ex to the Next - Dating Your Boy's X
First off, congrats to our President Barack Obama for his recent accomplishments; proving he was born in the US, slamming Donald Trump with comedy and kindness at the White House Correspondents Dinner and successfully eliminating Osama Bin Laden!!!!!
Now onto the business at hand.
AT&T has recently run a commercial in which two friends are on a ski lift and one friend ask the other could he ask his ex-girlfriend out on a date. Well, we see how he reacted! Let's take a look at a possible real life scenario:
Two roommates live together during college and become close friends. We will call them Jason and Justin for now. Justin had a girlfriend, Kim, throughout his undergrad years while Jason did a LOT of "dating." Jason was always cool with Justin's girlfriend; they would have conversations and sometimes would tag along whenever Justin and Kim would go out to say a new movie premiere. Fast forward, Justin and Kim breakup shortly after graduation and move to opposite ends of the United States. Justin and Jason remain close friends and still speak to each other almost daily.
Kim bumps into Jason at a restaurant and they enjoy a few laughs. Kim gives Jason her number and tells him to call her sometime. Jason calls her and Kim suggest they go out on a date. The story will stop here!!!
Should Jason inform Justin he re-connected with Kim?
Is it okay for Jason to go out with Kim?
If Jason were to go out with Kim, does Justin have every right to be upset with Jason?
Is there an expiration date or a time limit on dating a friend's ex-girlfriend?
Are the rules different for women?
The psyche, for a man, behind this examines the point in time when Jason decided Kim would be someone of interest for himself. If your close friend has a girlfriend, NOT someone he is just dating or having sex with, but someone he has elevated to new and rare heights, she is considered off limits forever. Justin has every right to question Jason's motives throughout his relationship with Kim. Justin could begin asking himself, "Was Jason scheming on Kim the whole time I was with her? What type of conversations were they having when I was not around? I wonder if they ever...?" These are fair questions to ask and if they cannot get answered, Justin may start to think about other times when Jason may have acted with ulterior motives.
Friendships are based solely on trust and a man wants to be able to trust his closest comrades in every way. When you start questioning the moves your friend makes, start analyzing his motives, the friendship is doomed.
Now onto the business at hand.
AT&T has recently run a commercial in which two friends are on a ski lift and one friend ask the other could he ask his ex-girlfriend out on a date. Well, we see how he reacted! Let's take a look at a possible real life scenario:
Two roommates live together during college and become close friends. We will call them Jason and Justin for now. Justin had a girlfriend, Kim, throughout his undergrad years while Jason did a LOT of "dating." Jason was always cool with Justin's girlfriend; they would have conversations and sometimes would tag along whenever Justin and Kim would go out to say a new movie premiere. Fast forward, Justin and Kim breakup shortly after graduation and move to opposite ends of the United States. Justin and Jason remain close friends and still speak to each other almost daily.
Kim bumps into Jason at a restaurant and they enjoy a few laughs. Kim gives Jason her number and tells him to call her sometime. Jason calls her and Kim suggest they go out on a date. The story will stop here!!!
Should Jason inform Justin he re-connected with Kim?
Is it okay for Jason to go out with Kim?
If Jason were to go out with Kim, does Justin have every right to be upset with Jason?
Is there an expiration date or a time limit on dating a friend's ex-girlfriend?
Are the rules different for women?
The psyche, for a man, behind this examines the point in time when Jason decided Kim would be someone of interest for himself. If your close friend has a girlfriend, NOT someone he is just dating or having sex with, but someone he has elevated to new and rare heights, she is considered off limits forever. Justin has every right to question Jason's motives throughout his relationship with Kim. Justin could begin asking himself, "Was Jason scheming on Kim the whole time I was with her? What type of conversations were they having when I was not around? I wonder if they ever...?" These are fair questions to ask and if they cannot get answered, Justin may start to think about other times when Jason may have acted with ulterior motives.
Friendships are based solely on trust and a man wants to be able to trust his closest comrades in every way. When you start questioning the moves your friend makes, start analyzing his motives, the friendship is doomed.
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