Friday, November 15, 2013

Bullying in Incog - Kneegrow

First I would like to give a special shout out to all the veterans and wish you all a Happy Veteran's Day. Thank you for all you do!

Over the last couple of weeks the biggest sports story is the Jonathan Martin and Richie Incognito "bullying" case.  Opinions have been flying while parts of the story still continue to come out. If you are unfamiliar with the case, Martin and Incognito are both Offensive Lineman for the Miami Dolphins and apparently they are not playing well together.  Martin is accusing Incognito of "bullying" him via rookie hazing; Incognito has apparently pulled pranks and left very nasty voicemail messages on Martin's phone.  Incognito has come out with his side of the story. You can Google any one of these names and more than a dozen stories will come up if you want a more detailed account of the situation.

After trying to read all the facts, gathering as much information as I can, and listening to all the talking heads there appears to be plenty of blame and a lot of important lessons to be learned. It took me a while to figure out how I felt about this debacle and it has caused an even more difficult time trying to write about it.  Then I went to church...

I attend Reid Temple in Maryland as often as I can and this week guest Pastor Tobias did his sermon on 1 Kings 18: 40-46; God is about to reign in your life.  It was Pastor Tobias' eloquent (and I use this term loosely) delivery of this sermon that helped me get over the hump and decide where I stood with all of this. I will come back to this...

Let's take a look at some different perspectives (Question/Answer):

Question: One might ask how does a 6'5'', 312-pound offensive lineman get bullied in the NFL considering he is probably one of the biggest players on the team?

Answer: Very easily! Anyone is susceptible to bullying because it has nothing to do with how big you are, it has everything to do with how mentally tough you are.  Bullies are weak people who prey on other weak individuals.  Bullies stop bullying when the person being bullied stands up for themselves and punches the bully in the mouth or does something that shows that the bullying will stop.  It does not have to be something physical that stops the bullying but oftentimes this is the best remedy!

Question: Why didn't Jonathan Martin stick up for himself and do something to stop the bullying from Richie Incognito?

Answer: Jonathan did do something; he broke down in the cafeteria (where the last prank by Incognito was conducted), pretty much threw a tantrum, took a leave of absence from the team only to tell very few that he was leaving because of the constant "harassment", "abuse", and "bullying" from his teammate.  Martin finally told the Head Coach that he mentally could not perform because of Incognito so he was not going to play until further notice.  A lot of people feel as though that Jonathan took the right course of action; he did not take matters into his own hands by "fighting" Incognito but he decided to tell his coach and leave the team.

Question: What is wrong with Jonathan's approach to the situation? He took the high-road and decided to go to the authorities put into place, express his feelings and frustrations, and remove himself from the situation.

Answer: There are a number of problems with Mr. Martin's approach and I will try my best to present all of them to you:

1. A man has to have rules, a code, for himself that he lives by and these rules, if broken, have consequences. Jonathan Martin was being bullied by a teammate and according to all accounts, he never approached him like a man and said, "Hey Incognito, enough is enough. I know I am the young guy in the locker room but I think I have taken enough abuse.  Please stop." As a man, when you make a statement like such, you have pretty much drawn the line in the sand and basically have told all that I am done taking abuse and if it continues, I will be forced to "thrash" you.  A man will respect that sentiment and leave you alone; a bully will ignore you and keep bullying thus forcing you to do something you don't want to do but HAS to be done...a punch in the mouth (the consequence).

According to Incognito, this is what he was trying to do to Martin. Martin was left a vm by Incognito and it contained many references to the N-word.  Also, somewhere it was said that Martin was required to pay for a dinner tab that amounted to $15,000 (some reports have said $30,000).  Remember those rules I mentioned earlier that every man should have...well...Martin's "rules" must not have included being pimped for money and being a called a racial epithet.  At any point should anyone do anything that they are uncomfortable with in any situation, in particularly the locker room, they should not do it.  Sterling Sharpe said it way better than I could.

2. The locker room is a sanctuary, a place for a team to bond, socialize, build, and most of all, trust.  The locker room is a place for athletes to air out problems that exist within the team (e.g. player's only meetings), to celebrate, to cry, and oftentimes fool around because boys will be boys.  All locker rooms are different and have their own rules.  Most, if not all, have rookie "hazing" traditions that can date back years.  Some veterans make the rookies carry their bags on road trips, some rookies are required to buy breakfast and/or coffee and donuts for some of the vets while other rookies are required to sing the team fight song in front of the entire team.  Activities like these provide humility to the rookies and it allows them the ability to become part of the culture of the team.  As a rookie, you want to be part of the team, you do not want that guy who thinks he is better than everyone else or is not liked by his own teammates because in sports like football and basketball, no one individual can win the game, it is a team sport thus it takes the TEAM to win.  Rookie hazing activities help to drive this point.

3. If Martin could not approach a teammate or the team captain about Incognito, shame on his teammates. Shame on the leadership of the Miami Dolphins for not stepping in and taking care of one of their own.  This media circus surrounding this issue should not have occurred.  The sanctity of the Miami Dolphin locker room has been broken and what gives a team its mystique, what makes a team special is now broken and been exposed for the world to see.  This should have been handled in-house.  If you have a system to "break-in" rookies then you should have a system that protects them also.  There is always one or two teammates that take the hazing a step too far and it is up to leadership to keep those guys in check.  This did not happen and Martin's teammates are the blame.

4.  I mentioned the sermon delivered to me by Pastor Tobias this past Sunday. The lessons to be learned that day:

  • If you are God-Fearing man, you will have problems, you will have struggles
  • Be willing to climb that mountain; basically, DEAL WITH IT!
  • If someone tries to stand in your way, throw up your gang sign (make your arms into a Cross)!!!!
Ironically, Pastor Tobias is a native Washingtonian that attended Coolidge HS and played football.  And he talked about how they would always get their butts kicked by Cardozo HS every year. But, during his Senior year, Pastor Tobias and his teammates decided one glorious day that they would triumph over their arch rival! And sure enough, they did!  

Jonathan Martin is a professional football player which means he has played the game and dedicated his life to it.  Not only is Martin in a profession he loves but he is getting paid to do it!! Despite these facts, he let one man come and take it all away from him. Martin allowed Incognito to force him to walk away from the sport he loves and has dedicated his life too. We all have struggles, we all have mountains to climb, and we all have that one person or persons that will try to prevent us from what is rightfully ours and that is the person you throw your gang sign up to! That is the person you stand up to...

I remember getting my butt molly-whopped as a kid in my neighborhood.  A lot of times I would avoid fighting by running back into the house until one day my Father got sick of it and made me go and fight the bully.  I was not allowed back in the house until I fought. Well, I got my butt kicked again! I had no choice, I wanted to go home at some point...lol. But I learned some valuable lessons:
  • I fought, lost, and got back up. I fought another day...
  • I met my mountain head on and climbed it..I got over the fear of losing, being humiliated
  • I stuck up for myself.  I did not know what I was sticking up for but I was fighting. 
Jonathan Martin was supposed to fight for what he loved.  Jonathan Martin was supposed to prove that he could fall down and get back up because that's what men do, fall and get back up. Jonathan Martin was supposed to stick up for himself and what he believed to be a wrong being done to him. Jonathan Martin was supposed to throw up his gang sign! Jonathan Martin was supposed to be a man....



Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Grambling State Football Team: Higher Learning

Grambling State University is located in northern Louisiana, Lincoln Parish, in a small city with its namesake. For 56 years, the Grambling State Tigers Football Team was coached by the Eddie Robinson, the second winning-est coach in NCAA Division 1 history.  He is recognized by many college football experts as one of the greatest football coaches ever to pace the sideline.

During Mr. Robinson's tenure, he compiled a record of 408-165-5 and sent over 200 players to the professional ranks.  Numbers matched by very few in his profession, Coach Robinson taught offense and defense, mowed the football field, fixed sandwiches for road trips through towns that would not serve blacks in restaurants, taped his players' sore joints, and even wrote game stories for then newspapers. Then as now, he had strict standards of personal conduct and educational achievement for his players.

Anyone that has ever played collegiate football or been close friends with a player who played college football can probably attest to the extremely regimented life they live.  For the price of tuition, room, board, books, etc., a college football player is required to perform on the field to the best of their ability while attending class and maintaining a minimum GPA.  This is accordance to NCAA rules and restrictions that prohibit collegiate athletes from working and earning wages to do basic functions like feed and clothe themselves; they cannot as much accept monies to go home for a funeral unless it is cleared by the NCAA.  

The daily life of a football player consists of practice, weightlifting, meetings, media functions, alumni functions, class, tutoring, games, travel, etc.  Some of these things happen multiple times a day, therefore time management becomes critical. When you sign up to play collegiate football, it is a good chance you have given up Thanksgivings and Christmas' for the next four years.  It is a virtual guarantee as a collegiate basketball player.

In contrast, the chemistry major attending school on academic scholarship is not required to do any of the aforementioned except attend class and maintain a minimum GPA.  Even then, if the student is smart enough, they may not even need to go to class. 

Obviously, I am missing a lot of other points but I think it is clear that there is a stark difference between the student-athlete (on athletic scholarship) and a regular student on an academic scholarship.  It is not even close.  

Grambling football players made the news the last few weeks because they refused to play a game at Jackson State and threatened to boycott the season if changes did not occur.  Here are some of the highlights of the letter they wrote to administrators at Grambling:  

  • Sports complex is littered with mildew and mold. The mold and mildew are so rampant, Lamar University came to play and they refused to go into the locker room during halftime
  • Weight room, game, and practice gear are in terrible condition.  The floor in the weight room is coming up causing players to trip; equipment is falling, tearing and ripping apart.  Uniforms (game and practice) are poorly washed which have led to multiple staph infections among the players
  • Since the summer, they have never received Gatorade or muscle milk and forced to drink water out of house underneath the stadium.  Practice is in grass up to their knees and players were not even given housing for football camp and this is while they were paying for summer school out of pocket
  • Road games scheduled in Kansas City and Indianapolis were taken by bus that took over 14 hours minimum to reach and they immediately returned home after the games.  In contrast, both the President and AD traveled by plane to both games.  
  • Funds donated to the football team were diverted or rejected because they were earmarked for the football team and not the university.
In a college environment, rarely do you see young men prepared for the rigors of adulthood. They can't process, or even properly distinguish, the various lessons, influences and characters they'd be presented with, during a time in which they are still trying to find themselves.  Here you have a team of 18 to 22 year-old who decided to take a stance against what could be considered, how dare I say it, modern day slavery. Of course there will be critics out there that say, "they are receiving a free education." If that is the case, why aren't the students who are on academic scholarships held to the same rules as the athletes?  Give you a hint, throw you a lifeline....because one brings in money to the university and the other does not.  

These brave young men took a stance, as a team, and said you must change our conditions or we will not play for you.  They did not ask for money, awards, or accolades; they asked for decent equipment, clean uniforms, and some Gatorade so they can at least have a fighting chance to compete against their peers. I do not see the Chemistry majors being denied the Bunsen burners they need to complete labs. Why should the football players be denied their basic needs to compete since they are a MAJOR funding resource for the institution.  

Grambling is known for so many traditions; a slamming band, the Bayou Classic, and Eddie Robinson. When you speak of HBCUs, no doubt you have to talk about good ole Grambling State.  Now when you talk about Grambling, you have to mention the 2013 Grambling Football Tigers that took a peaceful stand against the administration and won.  They received all they demanded and returned to the football field with their pride in tact and smiles on their faces.  

Eddie Robinson, proud member of Alpha Phi Alpha, had a great saying, "I do not just want to win the game, I want to win the guy." Eddie is in Heaven right now cheering his Tigers on and probably could not be anymore prouder of his team.  I have never step foot on Grambling's campus and may never but right now I am their biggest cheerleader.  They became men right before our eyes because they did something never done before and they did it for all the right reasons.  They did it as a team, their presentation was flawless, and they represented themselves the best way anyone could ask for. They learned the biggest lesson you could learn in school:

"Don't live only to learn what you're told to know. Live, learn, and become familiar with as much as you can, so that you can shape the person you're capable of becoming."

GO TIGERS!!!!