Bullying in Incog - Kneegrow

First I would like to give a special shout out to all the veterans and wish you all a Happy Veteran's Day. Thank you for all you do!

Over the last couple of weeks the biggest sports story is the Jonathan Martin and Richie Incognito "bullying" case.  Opinions have been flying while parts of the story still continue to come out. If you are unfamiliar with the case, Martin and Incognito are both Offensive Lineman for the Miami Dolphins and apparently they are not playing well together.  Martin is accusing Incognito of "bullying" him via rookie hazing; Incognito has apparently pulled pranks and left very nasty voicemail messages on Martin's phone.  Incognito has come out with his side of the story. You can Google any one of these names and more than a dozen stories will come up if you want a more detailed account of the situation.

After trying to read all the facts, gathering as much information as I can, and listening to all the talking heads there appears to be plenty of blame and a lot of important lessons to be learned. It took me a while to figure out how I felt about this debacle and it has caused an even more difficult time trying to write about it.  Then I went to church...

I attend Reid Temple in Maryland as often as I can and this week guest Pastor Tobias did his sermon on 1 Kings 18: 40-46; God is about to reign in your life.  It was Pastor Tobias' eloquent (and I use this term loosely) delivery of this sermon that helped me get over the hump and decide where I stood with all of this. I will come back to this...

Let's take a look at some different perspectives (Question/Answer):

Question: One might ask how does a 6'5'', 312-pound offensive lineman get bullied in the NFL considering he is probably one of the biggest players on the team?

Answer: Very easily! Anyone is susceptible to bullying because it has nothing to do with how big you are, it has everything to do with how mentally tough you are.  Bullies are weak people who prey on other weak individuals.  Bullies stop bullying when the person being bullied stands up for themselves and punches the bully in the mouth or does something that shows that the bullying will stop.  It does not have to be something physical that stops the bullying but oftentimes this is the best remedy!

Question: Why didn't Jonathan Martin stick up for himself and do something to stop the bullying from Richie Incognito?

Answer: Jonathan did do something; he broke down in the cafeteria (where the last prank by Incognito was conducted), pretty much threw a tantrum, took a leave of absence from the team only to tell very few that he was leaving because of the constant "harassment", "abuse", and "bullying" from his teammate.  Martin finally told the Head Coach that he mentally could not perform because of Incognito so he was not going to play until further notice.  A lot of people feel as though that Jonathan took the right course of action; he did not take matters into his own hands by "fighting" Incognito but he decided to tell his coach and leave the team.

Question: What is wrong with Jonathan's approach to the situation? He took the high-road and decided to go to the authorities put into place, express his feelings and frustrations, and remove himself from the situation.

Answer: There are a number of problems with Mr. Martin's approach and I will try my best to present all of them to you:

1. A man has to have rules, a code, for himself that he lives by and these rules, if broken, have consequences. Jonathan Martin was being bullied by a teammate and according to all accounts, he never approached him like a man and said, "Hey Incognito, enough is enough. I know I am the young guy in the locker room but I think I have taken enough abuse.  Please stop." As a man, when you make a statement like such, you have pretty much drawn the line in the sand and basically have told all that I am done taking abuse and if it continues, I will be forced to "thrash" you.  A man will respect that sentiment and leave you alone; a bully will ignore you and keep bullying thus forcing you to do something you don't want to do but HAS to be done...a punch in the mouth (the consequence).

According to Incognito, this is what he was trying to do to Martin. Martin was left a vm by Incognito and it contained many references to the N-word.  Also, somewhere it was said that Martin was required to pay for a dinner tab that amounted to $15,000 (some reports have said $30,000).  Remember those rules I mentioned earlier that every man should have...well...Martin's "rules" must not have included being pimped for money and being a called a racial epithet.  At any point should anyone do anything that they are uncomfortable with in any situation, in particularly the locker room, they should not do it.  Sterling Sharpe said it way better than I could.

2. The locker room is a sanctuary, a place for a team to bond, socialize, build, and most of all, trust.  The locker room is a place for athletes to air out problems that exist within the team (e.g. player's only meetings), to celebrate, to cry, and oftentimes fool around because boys will be boys.  All locker rooms are different and have their own rules.  Most, if not all, have rookie "hazing" traditions that can date back years.  Some veterans make the rookies carry their bags on road trips, some rookies are required to buy breakfast and/or coffee and donuts for some of the vets while other rookies are required to sing the team fight song in front of the entire team.  Activities like these provide humility to the rookies and it allows them the ability to become part of the culture of the team.  As a rookie, you want to be part of the team, you do not want that guy who thinks he is better than everyone else or is not liked by his own teammates because in sports like football and basketball, no one individual can win the game, it is a team sport thus it takes the TEAM to win.  Rookie hazing activities help to drive this point.

3. If Martin could not approach a teammate or the team captain about Incognito, shame on his teammates. Shame on the leadership of the Miami Dolphins for not stepping in and taking care of one of their own.  This media circus surrounding this issue should not have occurred.  The sanctity of the Miami Dolphin locker room has been broken and what gives a team its mystique, what makes a team special is now broken and been exposed for the world to see.  This should have been handled in-house.  If you have a system to "break-in" rookies then you should have a system that protects them also.  There is always one or two teammates that take the hazing a step too far and it is up to leadership to keep those guys in check.  This did not happen and Martin's teammates are the blame.

4.  I mentioned the sermon delivered to me by Pastor Tobias this past Sunday. The lessons to be learned that day:

• If you are God-Fearing man, you will have problems, you will have struggles
• Be willing to climb that mountain; basically, DEAL WITH IT!
• If someone tries to stand in your way, throw up your gang sign (make your arms into a Cross)!!!!

Ironically, Pastor Tobias is a native Washingtonian that attended Coolidge HS and played football.  And he talked about how they would always get their butts kicked by Cardozo HS every year. But, during his Senior year, Pastor Tobias and his teammates decided one glorious day that they would triumph over their arch rival! And sure enough, they did!  

Jonathan Martin is a professional football player which means he has played the game and dedicated his life to it.  Not only is Martin in a profession he loves but he is getting paid to do it!! Despite these facts, he let one man come and take it all away from him. Martin allowed Incognito to force him to walk away from the sport he loves and has dedicated his life too. We all have struggles, we all have mountains to climb, and we all have that one person or persons that will try to prevent us from what is rightfully ours and that is the person you throw your gang sign up to! That is the person you stand up to...

I remember getting my butt molly-whopped as a kid in my neighborhood.  A lot of times I would avoid fighting by running back into the house until one day my Father got sick of it and made me go and fight the bully.  I was not allowed back in the house until I fought. Well, I got my butt kicked again! I had no choice, I wanted to go home at some point...lol. But I learned some valuable lessons:

• I fought, lost, and got back up. I fought another day...
• I met my mountain head on and climbed it..I got over the fear of losing, being humiliated
• I stuck up for myself.  I did not know what I was sticking up for but I was fighting. 

Jonathan Martin was supposed to fight for what he loved.  Jonathan Martin was supposed to prove that he could fall down and get back up because that's what men do, fall and get back up. Jonathan Martin was supposed to stick up for himself and what he believed to be a wrong being done to him. Jonathan Martin was supposed to throw up his gang sign! Jonathan Martin was supposed to be a man....

Grambling State Football Team: Higher Learning

Grambling State University is located in northern Louisiana, Lincoln Parish, in a small city with its namesake. For 56 years, the Grambling State Tigers Football Team was coached by the Eddie Robinson, the second winning-est coach in NCAA Division 1 history.  He is recognized by many college football experts as one of the greatest football coaches ever to pace the sideline.

During Mr. Robinson's tenure, he compiled a record of 408-165-5 and sent over 200 players to the professional ranks.  Numbers matched by very few in his profession, Coach Robinson taught offense and defense, mowed the football field, fixed sandwiches for road trips through towns that would not serve blacks in restaurants, taped his players' sore joints, and even wrote game stories for then newspapers. Then as now, he had strict standards of personal conduct and educational achievement for his players.

Anyone that has ever played collegiate football or been close friends with a player who played college football can probably attest to the extremely regimented life they live.  For the price of tuition, room, board, books, etc., a college football player is required to perform on the field to the best of their ability while attending class and maintaining a minimum GPA.  This is accordance to NCAA rules and restrictions that prohibit collegiate athletes from working and earning wages to do basic functions like feed and clothe themselves; they cannot as much accept monies to go home for a funeral unless it is cleared by the NCAA.  

The daily life of a football player consists of practice, weightlifting, meetings, media functions, alumni functions, class, tutoring, games, travel, etc.  Some of these things happen multiple times a day, therefore time management becomes critical. When you sign up to play collegiate football, it is a good chance you have given up Thanksgivings and Christmas' for the next four years.  It is a virtual guarantee as a collegiate basketball player.

In contrast, the chemistry major attending school on academic scholarship is not required to do any of the aforementioned except attend class and maintain a minimum GPA.  Even then, if the student is smart enough, they may not even need to go to class. 

Obviously, I am missing a lot of other points but I think it is clear that there is a stark difference between the student-athlete (on athletic scholarship) and a regular student on an academic scholarship.  It is not even close.  

Grambling football players made the news the last few weeks because they refused to play a game at Jackson State and threatened to boycott the season if changes did not occur.  Here are some of the highlights of the letter they wrote to administrators at Grambling:  

• Sports complex is littered with mildew and mold. The mold and mildew are so rampant, Lamar University came to play and they refused to go into the locker room during halftime
• Weight room, game, and practice gear are in terrible condition.  The floor in the weight room is coming up causing players to trip; equipment is falling, tearing and ripping apart.  Uniforms (game and practice) are poorly washed which have led to multiple staph infections among the players
• Since the summer, they have never received Gatorade or muscle milk and forced to drink water out of house underneath the stadium.  Practice is in grass up to their knees and players were not even given housing for football camp and this is while they were paying for summer school out of pocket
• Road games scheduled in Kansas City and Indianapolis were taken by bus that took over 14 hours minimum to reach and they immediately returned home after the games.  In contrast, both the President and AD traveled by plane to both games.  
• Funds donated to the football team were diverted or rejected because they were earmarked for the football team and not the university.

In a college environment, rarely do you see young men prepared for the rigors of adulthood. They can't process, or even properly distinguish, the various lessons, influences and characters they'd be presented with, during a time in which they are still trying to find themselves.  Here you have a team of 18 to 22 year-old who decided to take a stance against what could be considered, how dare I say it, modern day slavery. Of course there will be critics out there that say, "they are receiving a free education." If that is the case, why aren't the students who are on academic scholarships held to the same rules as the athletes?  Give you a hint, throw you a lifeline....because one brings in money to the university and the other does not.  

These brave young men took a stance, as a team, and said you must change our conditions or we will not play for you.  They did not ask for money, awards, or accolades; they asked for decent equipment, clean uniforms, and some Gatorade so they can at least have a fighting chance to compete against their peers. I do not see the Chemistry majors being denied the Bunsen burners they need to complete labs. Why should the football players be denied their basic needs to compete since they are a MAJOR funding resource for the institution.  

Grambling is known for so many traditions; a slamming band, the Bayou Classic, and Eddie Robinson. When you speak of HBCUs, no doubt you have to talk about good ole Grambling State.  Now when you talk about Grambling, you have to mention the 2013 Grambling Football Tigers that took a peaceful stand against the administration and won.  They received all they demanded and returned to the football field with their pride in tact and smiles on their faces.  

Eddie Robinson, proud member of Alpha Phi Alpha, had a great saying, "I do not just want to win the game, I want to win the guy." Eddie is in Heaven right now cheering his Tigers on and probably could not be anymore prouder of his team.  I have never step foot on Grambling's campus and may never but right now I am their biggest cheerleader.  They became men right before our eyes because they did something never done before and they did it for all the right reasons.  They did it as a team, their presentation was flawless, and they represented themselves the best way anyone could ask for. They learned the biggest lesson you could learn in school:

"Don't live only to learn what you're told to know. Live, learn, and become familiar with as much as you can, so that you can shape the person you're capable of becoming."

GO TIGERS!!!!

Profiling: The $300 Belt Story

I first want to apologize for taking so long putting together another Man Code; my Master's program keeps me writing every week ....but no excuses, LET'S GET BACK TO IT!

This past week Barney's in New York has been accused of racial profiling.  A young man (19) came in to buy a $300+ belt and the young lady behind the counter thought the credit card used was stolen and so she called the authorities.  Turns out the kid saved up his money (approximately $350) to buy the Ferragamo belt and the credit card belonged to him.  He is now suing everyone and their mother!!  You can read the story right here.

I am going to share many different views and angles in this blog so stay with me:

Lady behind the counter:  It is no secret a place like Barney's has been accused of racial profiling many times in the past but it is also fair to say a place like Barney's experiences a lot of credit card fraud and theft. As a high-end retailer, it is important that they maintain their bottom line! If you have ever worked in retail, it is important to recognize or "profile" customers for their own safety and the safety of the store.  From her perspective, a 19-year old is buying a $350 belt...that comes off a little strange.  Why is a teenager attempting to buy a belt that men who have jobs can barely afford? Why would a teenager want to spend all of his money on a belt??

Maybe she asked these questions and more to herself and deduced that there has to be something wrong; he must be using someone else's money and/or credit card.  Interesting enough and as strange as it sounds, she is giving credence because her thought process is based on the assumption that a 19-year old would not buy a $300+ belt.

The Young Man Profiled:  The story says the young man (essentially a teenager), a college student, worked to save up $350 for this belt; I have no problem with any young person saving up their hard earn money to buy whatever they want to buy.  But that is not the point!  A very fitting quote for this teenager's actions: "No 14-year old boy should have a $95 shirt unless he is on stage with his 4 brothers!" This coming from the infamous Gordon Gartrelle episode of the Cosby Show.

Why not simply put that money in a savings account for a "rainy" day?  Why not invest your money in the myriad of opportunities being presented by the new phenomenon of crowd-funding?  Why not re-invest in yourself and your own idea to change the world??

A friend of mine came back from a pilgrimage to the Silicon Valley, home of start-ups like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other big companies like Amazon, Ebay, Apple, and Microsoft.  He said that when talking to the employees of these companies, it was not a question of "if we can change the world", it was a question of "when and how we will change the world."  In that part of the country, nothing was impossible because they had already created what was not even fathomable 10 years ago.  Their community, that culture, strives on innovation and creation which is why they have changed the world!  Imagine being around people who are always pushing you to come up with and implement ideas that can CHANGE THE WORLD???  I am sorry but it seems people have created more with less than $350.

From an article written by Nicole Kenney of the NAACP: "We must stop the massive "leakage" of our money out of our communities. Currently a dollar circulates in Asian communities for a month, in Jewish communities approximately 20 days and white communities 17 days. Black community, 6 hours!"  African-American buying power is at 1.1 Trillion; and yet only 2 cents of every dollar an AA spends in this country goes to black owned businesses."

Now I know I am going to hear about how our businesses lack good customer service, blah blah blah, but it is up to us, it is our duty, to not only support Black businesses but to help correct the wrongs we see with the business.  I have been to all types of businesses that have poor customer service so that is not an excuse to not support our own.  This sentiment is very important because it takes me to my next point...

Gentrification:  We are all seeing a massive overhaul of our Nation's urban dwellings; it is happening across the country from LA to Chicago, Washington DC to Brooklyn where urban dwellers from 10 years ago are being "displaced" and "replaced" by a younger, wealthier demographic.  How does this happen?  From an article written by Dave Roos:

There is no definitive answer, but experts agree that before an area can be gentrified, it must go through a period of disinvestment, during which older buildings are left to languish, median income levels decline steadily and businesses move out [source: Slater]. Some neighborhoods still maintain a vibrant social culture and sense of community, while others devolve into urban wastelands.

Then the "urban pioneers" arrive. Urban pioneers are usually young, educated, adventurous, predominately white, often artistically minded individuals who don't fit the traditional demographic of the neighborhood. They build artist lofts in abandoned industrial spaces, open underground music venues and begin to leave the imprint of their alternative tastes and bohemian lifestyle on the neighborhood [source: Hampson].

Once a few pioneers have staked their claim, the neighborhood begins to earn a new reputation in the minds of real-estate developers and upper middle-class folks who used to consider the area unsafe or unwelcoming. As home prices increase in the nicer parts of the city and the suburbs, more adventurous investors are attracted to the character of some of the buildings in the neighborhood (crumbling Victorian mansions, stately brownstones with stoops) and their low sales prices [source: Hampson]. They begin to snatch up bargain properties and make attractive, modern renovations. Developers follow suit, buying up old apartment buildings and converting them into luxury condos.

For a short period of time, there is an uneasy balance in the neighborhood. Long-time residents are nervous about the infusion of outsiders, but admit that the new playground makes the park a lot safer for the kids and all of the new restaurants and construction work mean better-paying jobs. But then the lease expires on the apartment and the new landlord wants to raise the rent by 50 percent. Long-time homeowners have sold off and left town and rumors abound that some developer bought five apartment buildings on one block and evicted everyone. And then the inevitable happens -- the first Starbucks opens.

I have seen this first hand living in Washington DC. My friends and I laugh because there are "indicators" that show the process starting in a certain neighborhood:

1. New pavement for the streets and sidewalks

2. White people walking their dog or jogging in the early morning or evening

3. Starbucks opens on the corner

I laugh but it hurts because this is serious. This gentrification process leaves a lot of people that look like me without a home and sometimes a city without an identity.  I spoke earlier about how money stays in our community for only 6 hours.  Well, that's the "disinvestment" that starts the gentrification process.  If we are not spending money in our own neighborhoods,  how can you renew older buildings?  How can businesses pay their employees and maintain median income levels?  How can you prevent businesses from shutting down or moving out? Bottom line, if you do not spend money in your own neighborhood, someone else will spend their money in YOUR neighborhood and start demanding that YOUR neighborhood change.  

Ever heard of Chinatown? Sure you have because they exist in cities like DC, NY, and San Francisco.  What about Little Italy? New York. Little Cuba? I think I even know of a Little Haiti?  Anyone ever heard of "Little African-American" or "Blacktown"? Yea, I have not also!

Is it a stretch that I took a teenager who spent $350 on a belt and was profiled for it to the gentrification of our neighborhoods?  Should I have focused on the profiling instead like many of us have?  

Anytime anything "happens" to me, I always take the time to look at myself first and make sure that I am doing the best I can to be the best I know I can be.  That includes understanding AND challenging not only myself but others about how we think.  Was it wrong that this kid was profiled? ABSOLUTELY!!!  

I am 35 and right now when I take a look at my spending habits, the only dollars I know I consistently spend at Black businesses is the Black Barbershop (Shout out to Changing Faces) I go to every week where I spend a mere $20.  I am part of the problem because I did not understand the concepts presented at an early age which is why I am "programmed" a certain way now.  I am trying to de-program myself so I can do better.  This includes educating and creating forums to talk about how we think, what we do, and how we can change.  I am not worry about who is watching because we have been laughed at for so long, we just do not know it.

Rutgers Basketball: The Problem is not Rutgers, but the NCAA

If you have not been paying attention, which is okay, sometimes we all need a break from this very depressing reality, Rutgers University Basketball is now in the spotlight.  Take a look at the video by ABC News by clicking:

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/video/losing-rutgers-basketball-coach-mike-rice-18893923.

Yes, close your mouth, that is the Head Coach Mike Rice throwing basketballs, kicking and pushing players, and calling them not-so-very nice names.  As of today, Mike Rice has been fired, the AD has been removed, an assistant coach resigned and the President is on the hot seat.  As least the reaction was quick and swift but I am exploring this topic because of the varying opinions I have read about this story.  In addition, I will offer my opinion on why this is bigger than just Rutgers, there is something seriously screwed up in collegiate athletics.

Some comments I have read:

1. The kids could not retaliate because they are on scholarship and did not want to put that in jeopardy...

2.  The kids were afraid of being labeled as "un-coachable" or problematic

3.  No one would believe these kids were taking abuse from their Head Coach

4.  The kids have a close relationship with the Head Coach and they have bought in to his way of "coaching"

5.  The kid, if he retaliated, would have been arrested and charged with assault

6.  The kids have dreams of playing professionally and did not want the risk of being kicked out of school and not being able to play basketball anymore or worse

7.  The University allowed the coach to get away with this...

Are all of these comments wrong? Far from it, as a matter of fact, all of these comments are on point and I whole-heartily agree with them.  AND THAT IS THE PROBLEM!!!!

Let's rewind to circa 1986, I was eight years old.  My parents told me that if someone called you a "nigger", you were to fight them on sight!!  NO if's, and's, no second chance!!!  As the letter 'r' rolled off their tongue, your fist should be entering their mouth and knocking out some teeth! That was the rule.

My Father told me that if another person, outside of him or my Mother, were to put their hands on me without their permission, I was permitted to defend myself which means I needed to "put my dukes up and throw some hands!"  That was the rule, you did not start anything but you better finish it!

I use to get into fights in my neighborhood all the time, well, I would not call them fights, more like me getting my face punched in.  Sometimes I would take the beating, other times I would run back home and stay in the house until the next day.  One day my Father was home and when I was about to get my face smashed in again, I ran home but to my surprise, I was in for something a little different that day.  My Father grabbed me and dragged outside and told me to go fight.  He said, "you are not going to run anymore, you are going to go over there and fight that boy and you are not coming home until you do."

See back then, Child Protection Services could not save you and if you threatened to run away, your parents would help you pack what little you owned! But I digress...

Did I stand up for myself that day and fight. Yes I did! Did I get my ass whooped again. YES I DID! But after that day, something in me changed.  I no longer ran from confrontation.  I eventually learned how to defend myself and then I actually started winning some of those fights.  I still lost some but I won a lot more.  My Father taught me a lot that day; he taught me how to fight, how to defend myself, to stop running, but most importantly, he taught me how to be man.

These lessons have evolved over the years.  Am I willing to get into a fist fight at my age now? HELL NO, fist fights hurt!  But I am not afraid to stand up and defend something I know is wrong.  I know how to use my mind and communicate how I feel so I can diffuse a situation without it coming to violence. But it had to start somewhere...

Fast forward...

What is going on in college athletics that a student-athlete feels as though they have to be submitted to abuse because they are on scholarship? Or afraid of how the media is going to betray them? Or afraid of being kicked out of school?

What is going on in college athletics where such behavior is not only condoned but it is almost encouraged and explained as a tool for motivation? What is going on with the coaching profession that I have to call a kid a "fagot" or a "p*ssy" to get him to play harder?

What is going on with college athletics and its numerous student-athletes that they do not have the passion or motivation to play their respective sport at a high level?  What is going on with these athletics not defending themselves when they are being physically abused?

There appears to be an absence of rules, a culture based on money.  Personal values and development have been cast to the side for million dollar coaching salaries and the University's bottom line.

As a basketball coach, I love my kids too much to ever want to try to hurt them or revert to tactics of a Mike Rice to motivate them to play harder? Have I and the rest of the coaching staff ever been in a position where we felt the kids were not motivated to play? Absolutely! What did we do about? Well I can tell you what we did not do!

The thing that bothers me the most is that the head coach is in a position of authority and at any moment, he can take away the scholarship these kids need to remain in school.  In essence, the head coach holds the future of these kids in his hands.  The head coach knows it, the assistant coaches know it, and most importantly, the kids know it.  So why abuse that power?  Back in the day, we had a name for guys like that, we called them bullies.  Bullies prey on the weak or less powerful because they can.  Would Mike Rice square up with someone that did not have anything to lose, someone he did not control? Maybe, maybe not. I would have a little more respect for him if he could answer that question with a yes!

There are some clear issues that are part of a bigger problem that the NCAA is going to have to take a look at one day.  From a cultural standpoint, men are not taking their responsibility of teaching boys how to be men very seriously.  We are not teaching the rules that govern our manhood so that we all know the difference between right and wrong.  These kids took this abuse not because they wanted to but because they actually believed it was motivational. They took this abuse because they were not taught that there are other avenues that can be explored to motivate a student athlete.  They took this abuse because of the absence of genuine leadership and manhood.

The worse part is that an assistant coach, Eric Murdoch, stood up and made a claim last year that this was going on.  Because he stood up for what he believed in as a MAN, he was fired from Rutgers and will probably never be able to coach at the collegiate level again because he broke the code of silence that governs the coaching fraternity: You never rat out the head coach.

What are we teaching here? What are we selling to our high school athletes about collegiate sports? Hold on, let me take a shot at this:

"Son, going to play basketball at the collegiate level will entail daily practices, oftentimes occurring multiple times a day, no holidays, no spring breaks, rarely coming home to see family, being broke, subjected to mental and physical abuse by your Head coach and the coaching staff, and being pimped by the University as they make millions off of your name and talent and you receive not one red cent.  There is a good side; you have a less than 1% chance of going pro and if you do not go pro and you may have actually been able to be successful in the classroom despite your full-time job as an athlete; you will receive that Communications degree and be able to join the millions of others in the world who cannot find employment right now."

Don't get me wrong, I think it is a privilege and an honor to receive a scholarship and be able to play the sport you love and earn a degree for free. I do, I do, I do.  But do I believe it is worth your pride, discipline, self-esteem, and self-worth? Never, you cannot ever put a price on those things.  A man has to have rules, he has to have a line that cannot be crossed or he will never stand for anything. Ladies, you ask all the time why are the men acting so weak these days? They do not stand for something, THAT IS WHY!!!

Another article to read that falls in line with some of the topics I have touched on here can be read:

http://www.salon.com/2013/04/05/why_do_athletes_tolerate_abusive_coaches/