This week's year-ending blog was inspired by a WashPo article published last week and can be read here. See you all in 2012!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
This story does not take place in Southside Queens, NY or in South Philly, Brick City (Newark) for that matter, hell, it does not even take place in Compton. Ever heard of Farmville, Virginia, birthplace of the Lady of Rage ("Afro Puffs")? If your face is tight trying to figure out where Farmville is and who the Lady of Rage (the only famous person of note to come out of Farmville) could be, well you are just like many other people so do not feel bad.
The star of this story is a young, black quarterback named Charles Williams that now attends Fuqua School. Fuqua School is private and was part of a dozen or so private schools that popped in places like Farmville back in the 50s and 60s that only catered to white students. Farmville, population 8,200, sits in Prince Edward County and was one of the last counties to comply with the Brown v. Board of Education that desegrated schools. There was so much resistance, instead of desegregating, they shut down their public schools from '59 to '64. It is well known that the Prince Edward School System was one of the last school systems to give up the fight. Fuqua, originally named Prince Edward Academy, was founded in 1959 for whites only and was actually subsidized by tax dollars. Unreal how this was a little over 50 years ago!
Fast forward and although Farmville has Black residents, they all live in a certain area of the town and they all go to the same schools while the White residents live on the other side and go to the 'white school.' Fuqua did not accept its first Black student until the late 80s and the number of Blacks at any given time always remained under 5. Fuqua's President, Ruth Murphy, wanted to "diversify" her school and needed a way to change its image as being seen as anything but a racist school. She had to ask, "How do you diversify an institution founded to perpetuate segregation?" The answer would be a "black leader who is comfortable in two worlds;" the answer came in the form of a 14-year old named Charles Williams.
Charles is a big strong kid with a 'maturity' and 'intensity' that made Murphy a little uneasy; she once commented and later recanted this statement: "...he looked like a 25-year old drug dealer." I feel like there exists a book with precise decriptions of what a "drug dealer" looks like depending upon his age and this book is for whites only....sheesh!!! But I digress...
Murphy offered Charles a full minority scholarship (worth $7300/year) to Fuqua but he would have one condition: promote Fuqua among the Farmville Black residents. Charles accepted the scholarship and although he would be obtaining a better education he would do so at the cost of family and friends no longer supporting him on and off the field. He lost all of his friends!
Fast forward even further and Charles in now 17, captain of the playoff bound Fuqua football team, and known by many as the best athlete in the school's history. In three years, he has helped triple the amount of students at Fuqua to 15 out of 420 students. Still prejudices linger as he walks across school campus and sees words like "coonhunter" and "white power" spray painted but Charles has never forgotten who he is and where he comes from.
This story reminds me of some people I know, well actually, the MAJORITY of the people I know who are Black and had to be the first to do something or had to endure the hurt and pain of a racist past in what is supposed to be a "diverse" today. Our parents endured this tragedy first hand and will be the first to be dead set against attending "their schools." I remember coming home from college after my freshman year at Virginia Tech and my Dad casually saying that integration was the worse thing to happen to Blacks because we lost our sense of identity. I did not understand him then but I understand him now but that is a whole other blog, I digress.
I went to a majority white high school and I was the only Black male in my honors and AP classes consistently while being one of two black players on a 15-man roster basketball team. My teachers pushed me to form a mentoring group, called Reflections, that concentrated on students with low self-esteem. They felt I was the best candidate to talk to other students about something that plagues all students regardless of color.
While being an honor student and all-city basketball player, I was pulled over almost 40 times by Richmond's Finest in a year span my senior year in high school and NEVER received a ticket. I learned what "driving while black, aka DWB" meant first hand!! I also remember one night me and a friend of mine coming of a Blockbuster Videa and being stopped by two officers who said we "fit the description" of two burglars who just robbed a house across the street. They made us assume the position against the wall, they patted us down, and then took our mugshots on the spot while people were walking in and out of the videostore. I gave advice on self-esteem, after that episode, I needed somebody to give me some advice! I also learned what description I fit and it consistently was BLACK!
I laugh silently to myself when asked on a job interview, "what are some of th biggest challenges you have encountered?" I want to say, "applying for bank loans, picking up my wallet without being shot at, drive down the street in a nice car without being pulled over..." but I do not because what I don't want is sympathy or pity. I know who I am and what I am.
I just want to give kudos to men like Charles Williams and the countless others who have done this sort of thing since day one. A lot of us live in two worlds and we do this effortlessly, like breathing. They took a big step for men and stood in the face of adversity to achieve something greater than themselves. If you read this story to a Black man in this day in age, he will not be surprised; he would shrug his shoulders and say "welcome to our world." The only thing that is suprising is that it has taken the rest of the world this long to recognize this middle-class, Black male struggle.
This story will probably never become a movie or TV Show because there is not enough violence like the movie "Menace to Society" and it will not make you laugh like "Kings of Comedy." It is a story that may never get heard but it is living everyday.
Today, we have a Black President, something I never really thought I would see in my lifetime. There are very few counties, cities, municipalities like Farmville that exists anymore and I can probably go out on a limb and say there are not any segregated schools. The real question, are there still segregated minds? Is racism totally gone?
Some will say yes, some will vehemently say no. I do not really know, I just try to represent who I am to the best that I can be. But I will say this, if you ever read an online article and it has something to do with somebody Black, scroll to the end and read the comment section. Let's just say I am glad I am thick-skinned!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Male Renovations - Female Landscaping
Happy Holidays everyone!!!
These past couple of weeks I have been throwing jabs to both men and women and how we can do better so this week I thought, "let's keep it light, funny, but address a serious matter!" Ironically, this issue is something that both men and women need to take a look at because we are ALL guilty. I am not going to speak from an "expert" standpoint because no one has ever really sat me down and said to me how to do this and when to do this and I am sure I am not the only male in my position.
The issue I am referring to is the "grooming" of the "downstairs" departments. How, when, and with what should men renovate and what are the rules as far as female landscaping??
From a male perspective, especially from a young age, "population growth" was seen as part of your Rite of Passage into manhood. It is akin to finally growing a mustache or beard or both. "I AM MAN, HERE ME ROAR" type of thing. Talk to a grown man who has to shave everything down there because of surgery; he feels naked, it looks weird, it is just not a good situation. So to even suggest that we "trim" or "renovate" that area will get you minimum a "you are crazy" look to maybe getting cussed out.
But there is some good news; as I have stated before, women control everything. If your man is used to you giving him "special attention" and you stop because you feel he needs to renovate, if your "special attention" is on the money, HE WILL RENOVATE! Now, ladies, he may need some help in that department. They did not teach us how to do such things in Physical Education class in high school. And personally, I would like some expert opinion before I go downstairs with anything that can cut!!!!
Now ladies, you are not off the hook because some of you have redefined the term "Busch Gardens!" I do not know the rules for the ladies so please enlighten but I know I do not want to have to go grab the lawn mower when I want to provide some "special attention." I have heard some serious horror stories but I will not divulge them but this is a problem!!!
So Ladies and Gentleman, SPEAK OUT!!!!!
These past couple of weeks I have been throwing jabs to both men and women and how we can do better so this week I thought, "let's keep it light, funny, but address a serious matter!" Ironically, this issue is something that both men and women need to take a look at because we are ALL guilty. I am not going to speak from an "expert" standpoint because no one has ever really sat me down and said to me how to do this and when to do this and I am sure I am not the only male in my position.
The issue I am referring to is the "grooming" of the "downstairs" departments. How, when, and with what should men renovate and what are the rules as far as female landscaping??
From a male perspective, especially from a young age, "population growth" was seen as part of your Rite of Passage into manhood. It is akin to finally growing a mustache or beard or both. "I AM MAN, HERE ME ROAR" type of thing. Talk to a grown man who has to shave everything down there because of surgery; he feels naked, it looks weird, it is just not a good situation. So to even suggest that we "trim" or "renovate" that area will get you minimum a "you are crazy" look to maybe getting cussed out.
But there is some good news; as I have stated before, women control everything. If your man is used to you giving him "special attention" and you stop because you feel he needs to renovate, if your "special attention" is on the money, HE WILL RENOVATE! Now, ladies, he may need some help in that department. They did not teach us how to do such things in Physical Education class in high school. And personally, I would like some expert opinion before I go downstairs with anything that can cut!!!!
Now ladies, you are not off the hook because some of you have redefined the term "Busch Gardens!" I do not know the rules for the ladies so please enlighten but I know I do not want to have to go grab the lawn mower when I want to provide some "special attention." I have heard some serious horror stories but I will not divulge them but this is a problem!!!
So Ladies and Gentleman, SPEAK OUT!!!!!
Monday, December 5, 2011
For Sisters Only...
About 3-4 weeks back, "For Sisters Only" Fair and Expo was back in DC for another year at the DC Convention Center. It's for women only but men are definitely welcome (or at least I make myself welcome) and they have food, live entertainment (national artists) performing Hip Hop and R&B, vendors, and panel discussions.
Some of the vendors represented different "areas" that the majority of women focus on or deal with in their day-to-day activities: fashion, hair and makeup, health, finance, literature, and relationships. I have attended this Expo for years and I never did take notice of something that sparked this blog; vendors that would fall under the category of "hair & makeup" and/or "fashion" were overwhelmingly crowded while the vendors dealing with personal finance and health probably did not see a visitor the whole day. It was like they were invisible!!!
Then I started thinking, which could be dangerous, as a society, even as a culture, do we care that much about how we look? Growing up I used to hear all types of stereotypes about Black people and one that particularly sticks out is how a "Black person will always look good despite not having a single cent in their bank account." Is this true? If I were to use "For Sisters Only" as a testing area for this stereotype, there would not be much argument to dispute this steroetype.
Even more compelling is the fact that these same women, who spend the majority of their time and money on how they look, are the same women who want a man to do more than just play PS3 and concentrate more on the family structure. You want men to do more, care more but as a woman, what are you doing to advance yourself and grow? What are you doing to motivate your male counterpart to do what you want him to do, what he needs to do? If you, the woman, are taking the initiative to care more about your personal finance and health, well then why should the man?
YOU HAVE TO BECOME THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE!!!!
This maybe a man's world but WOMEN run it. Men know that (we will never admit to it) and as soon as EVERY woman realizes it, you will see the changes you demand but you CANNOT ask to change when you refuse to change yourself.
I am not asking for any woman to ever stop caring about how she looks, do not ever stop caring!! But what I am asking for is balance and compromise. If you, my lady, not put so much money into that weave every month, I will cut back on the PS3 and the money that we save, we can put into an account for whatever we want it to be.
I have recently discovered the joys of a pedicure, CLAWD HAVE MERCY, and now I will keep going but why not go with the one you love. Ladies, you complain about your man's crusty feet, FIX THEM!! Take him with you when you go get your mani/pedi so he can see why they are important; he can get a pedi and you are now spending time with each other.
As a family, go see the doctor and ladies, drag that man of yours with you. Most men do not like going to see the doctor because "WE ARE MEN" and we are wired and taught to "tough" it out. Well, I do not know a man who has yet "toughed" out prostate cancer or any other cancer for that matter!!
We are a product of how we spend our money and where we spend it. Our environments, our communities are built and dictated by how we spend our money. Ever notice why there are so many shoe stores and weave shops in "our" neighborhoods? The same reason why CitiBank is not!!! One is profitable and one is not. Money talks...
Some of the vendors represented different "areas" that the majority of women focus on or deal with in their day-to-day activities: fashion, hair and makeup, health, finance, literature, and relationships. I have attended this Expo for years and I never did take notice of something that sparked this blog; vendors that would fall under the category of "hair & makeup" and/or "fashion" were overwhelmingly crowded while the vendors dealing with personal finance and health probably did not see a visitor the whole day. It was like they were invisible!!!
Then I started thinking, which could be dangerous, as a society, even as a culture, do we care that much about how we look? Growing up I used to hear all types of stereotypes about Black people and one that particularly sticks out is how a "Black person will always look good despite not having a single cent in their bank account." Is this true? If I were to use "For Sisters Only" as a testing area for this stereotype, there would not be much argument to dispute this steroetype.
Even more compelling is the fact that these same women, who spend the majority of their time and money on how they look, are the same women who want a man to do more than just play PS3 and concentrate more on the family structure. You want men to do more, care more but as a woman, what are you doing to advance yourself and grow? What are you doing to motivate your male counterpart to do what you want him to do, what he needs to do? If you, the woman, are taking the initiative to care more about your personal finance and health, well then why should the man?
YOU HAVE TO BECOME THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE!!!!
This maybe a man's world but WOMEN run it. Men know that (we will never admit to it) and as soon as EVERY woman realizes it, you will see the changes you demand but you CANNOT ask to change when you refuse to change yourself.
I am not asking for any woman to ever stop caring about how she looks, do not ever stop caring!! But what I am asking for is balance and compromise. If you, my lady, not put so much money into that weave every month, I will cut back on the PS3 and the money that we save, we can put into an account for whatever we want it to be.
I have recently discovered the joys of a pedicure, CLAWD HAVE MERCY, and now I will keep going but why not go with the one you love. Ladies, you complain about your man's crusty feet, FIX THEM!! Take him with you when you go get your mani/pedi so he can see why they are important; he can get a pedi and you are now spending time with each other.
As a family, go see the doctor and ladies, drag that man of yours with you. Most men do not like going to see the doctor because "WE ARE MEN" and we are wired and taught to "tough" it out. Well, I do not know a man who has yet "toughed" out prostate cancer or any other cancer for that matter!!
We are a product of how we spend our money and where we spend it. Our environments, our communities are built and dictated by how we spend our money. Ever notice why there are so many shoe stores and weave shops in "our" neighborhoods? The same reason why CitiBank is not!!! One is profitable and one is not. Money talks...
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