I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving and since your belly's are stuffed with turkey and ham, I decided to go ahead and start some trouble today!!! I found an article that listed the "Top 12 Reasons Why Good Black Men Are Single" but I decided to take out "Black" because I believe this issue is really colorless at this point and these reasons apply to all. Read, Enjoy, and of course comment!!!!
1. They keep meeting women with unrealistic expectations for what they want in a man.
2. They keep meeting women who put them in the wrong category by writing them off too quickly as not being "their type".
3. They're not wanted because they're not needed. Too many women have told them that they don't "need" a man.
4. They keep meeting women who don't respect them just because they "are" men.
5. They keep failing women's Girlfriend Approval Test. If the woman's friends don't like them, then that woman won't give them a chance either.
6. They keep meeting women who are not interested in them, but only in how much money they make.
7. They're nobody until somebody else loves them. Not enough women see them as a prize unless they see a lot of other women chasing after them first.
8. They meet too many women who don't really know what they want.
9. They meet too many women who believe that single, good men are "too good to be true".
10. The RIGHT man at the WRONG time.
11. They meet too many women who don't recognize a good man when they see one.
12. They don't promote all the great things about themselves boldly or consistently enough to enough women
Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Art Imitating Life - The Softness of a Man
You gotta love these commercials these days, I mean I have explained and listed numerous things to suggest when a man is not being a man. But those Miller Lite commercials are taken Man Code to places I never thought I would ever have to "explain." The funniest of those commercials, I will title it "The Bathroom," actually shows a man asking his friends to go to the bathroom with him. Or how about the McDonald's commercial where the newlywed couple are about to board the plane until the husband finds out the McRib is out and he wants to delay the honeymoon.
These commercials maybe an exaggeration, an embellishment of the truth, but there is some truth to this. There is truth to the fact that there is an identity crisis that have left men wondering if they really are men. Just this past Fall alone, six new TV Shows came out focusing on the role man plays with the family and society. The titles of the some of these shows: "How To Be A Gentleman", "Last Man Standing", and "Man Up."
CNN did a second article about the declining roles men have at home and in the workforce. Here is an excerpt from that article:
"In developed Western countries, man has unprecedented freedom to chose, to a degree heretofore unknown, a life of his own wanting and design. A mere hundred years ago, man couldn't afford to dawdle in limbo between adolescence and manhood; manhood was thrust upon him for survival. Today, more opportunity lies at his feet than ever. Yet with this increased opportunity comes increased confusion, and the response on the part of some men has not been encouraging.
Take the Occupy Wall Street movement, for instance. While diverse and scattered, some of the mottos and slogans on display are in stark contrast to the traditional and time-tested ideas of manliness. Instead of industriousness, responsibility and entrepreneurship, these men demand free college education, required living wages and greater distribution of someone else's wealth. Rather than look inward and rely on their own self-sufficiency, they look for a handout. A man's livelihood once depended on his hands, back and brain. Today, the government can do all that for him, if he lets it."
I never thought I said the day where a man would have to ask the question:
"How does one be a man today?"
Am I over-reacting and maybe over-thinking this too much? Should I just accept the fact that the role of the man in society is changing and evolving?
Entertainment has a way of becoming real in many different forms. The old saying "Art Imitating Life" is not really complete. Based on the powerful phenomenon called Hip Hop, for example, the saying really should be "Art Imitating Life Imitating Art." It is not uncommon for Joe out in Montana to really believe women on the Real Housewives of Whatever act like that day to day. It is not uncommon for a young boy to pick up a Lil Wayne tape and really believe in order to become a great rapper he has to abuse substances and smoke a ton of weed.
I hope it does not become commonplace for a young man to ask his friends to accompany him to the restroom or grown men to think it is okay to postpone important moments in the life of a marriage because of the release of a fast food sandwich....I can only hope!
These commercials maybe an exaggeration, an embellishment of the truth, but there is some truth to this. There is truth to the fact that there is an identity crisis that have left men wondering if they really are men. Just this past Fall alone, six new TV Shows came out focusing on the role man plays with the family and society. The titles of the some of these shows: "How To Be A Gentleman", "Last Man Standing", and "Man Up."
CNN did a second article about the declining roles men have at home and in the workforce. Here is an excerpt from that article:
"In developed Western countries, man has unprecedented freedom to chose, to a degree heretofore unknown, a life of his own wanting and design. A mere hundred years ago, man couldn't afford to dawdle in limbo between adolescence and manhood; manhood was thrust upon him for survival. Today, more opportunity lies at his feet than ever. Yet with this increased opportunity comes increased confusion, and the response on the part of some men has not been encouraging.
Take the Occupy Wall Street movement, for instance. While diverse and scattered, some of the mottos and slogans on display are in stark contrast to the traditional and time-tested ideas of manliness. Instead of industriousness, responsibility and entrepreneurship, these men demand free college education, required living wages and greater distribution of someone else's wealth. Rather than look inward and rely on their own self-sufficiency, they look for a handout. A man's livelihood once depended on his hands, back and brain. Today, the government can do all that for him, if he lets it."
I never thought I said the day where a man would have to ask the question:
"How does one be a man today?"
Am I over-reacting and maybe over-thinking this too much? Should I just accept the fact that the role of the man in society is changing and evolving?
Entertainment has a way of becoming real in many different forms. The old saying "Art Imitating Life" is not really complete. Based on the powerful phenomenon called Hip Hop, for example, the saying really should be "Art Imitating Life Imitating Art." It is not uncommon for Joe out in Montana to really believe women on the Real Housewives of Whatever act like that day to day. It is not uncommon for a young boy to pick up a Lil Wayne tape and really believe in order to become a great rapper he has to abuse substances and smoke a ton of weed.
I hope it does not become commonplace for a young man to ask his friends to accompany him to the restroom or grown men to think it is okay to postpone important moments in the life of a marriage because of the release of a fast food sandwich....I can only hope!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Scarred Justice
I was hit by a drunk driver 3 years ago in Washington DC, actually it was 3 years to the day on November 8. I remember driving and then I just remember waking up in the hospital. I did not feel a thing! After minor nose surgery, which might as well been cosmetic surgery because my nose had already been broken 3 different times, I was released from the hospital with a repaired nose and some scars.
When I get up in the morning and look in the mirror, I am reminded everyday of that accident; it lives within the scars right next to lips and right under my nose. I try to disguise them with my five o'clock shadow but I know they are there. I decided to get a tattoo on my shoulder of a Cross with the word "Blessed" on it because that is precisely what I am! But those scars are never going anywhere.
I read the 23-page grand jury report regarding the scandal that has literally rocked the nation at Penn State University where an ex-coach, defensive coordinator for the nittany lions, has been accused of multiple accounts of child molestation among other things. In the wake of this scandal, Joe Paterno, legendary long-time football coach, has been fired from his coaching post at Penn State after 61 years of dedicated service. The university felt the public outcry was so strong against Paterno, the Board of Trustees for Penn State fired him.
As this case has evolved and more information keeps coming to the surface, it is a fair to say that the worse has yet to come. For example, it has been rumored that Sandusky was not only molesting these children through his foundation, but also "selling" them to rich donors to be molested also. I would like to go on record and say that I think Sandusky should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and the other thoughts I have about what should be done to him I will have to keep to myself because they are too graphic for a blog!
I want justice for these kids and I want Penn State to start paying for their healing process to start immediately. Regardless of the breakdown in the system and how this could even occcur, Penn State needs to move swiftly to make sure the victims are financially secure and stable to start the process of healing from this horrific incident.
BUT, and there is a but....
I do think that they moved too fast firing Joe Paterno and this may go against public opinion but that is precisely why he should not have been fired. During this whole scandal, I think our system of justice has been lost among the strong emotions attached to such nasty crimes. I get it, I do. Joe Paterno was fired because public outcry and politics demanded someone take the fall for this immediately and JoePa's head was put to the gauntlet. He was fired because the public felt as though he had a moral obligation to call the police himself when he found out that his old colleague was molesting children under the Penn State flag. Morally, it can be argued that he should have called the police.
But JoePa did report the crime up his chain of command in the hierarchy structure at Penn State. He followed protocol, he followed the rules laid out by Penn State. This has nothing to do with the moral aspect but what he was obligated to do professionally. And from that standpoint, he did was he was supposed to do.
So we have a dilemna, PROFESSIONAL OBLIGATION vs MORAL OBLIGATION. When is one applied and not the other? Does one trump the other? Is there one that should always and consistently be applied and another that should be applied based on a judgement call?
Here is another angle to look at this and this is why I think JoePa, just like Sandusky, should have their day in court. JoePa is a Father of five and dedicated 61 years to Penn State coaching kids and he did it without one scandal, he is at least owed a chance to tell his side of the story; he should be allowed his day in court. But I have some questions:
JoePa is a Father and long time coach and if you ask anybody about his character, he makes Honest Abe Lincoln look like Pinnochio; why did he not call the police?
Why didn't JoePa follow-up with the investigation?
Why didn't the people whom JoePa reported the crime to call the police?
Penn State acted prematurely because of the heinous account of the crimes committed and that is understandable but you only get one chance to get this right. There are two crimes that follow a person wherever they go like the scars on my face: Rapist and Child Molestor. The "child sex offender" label is something you carry around for the rest of your life and it is like the Scarlet Letter, everybody knows it. Even worse than being a molestor is being known or knowing you did not do anything to stop it or prevent it from happening again. You mine as well be the person doing the molesting.
It is crucial to find out where the process broke down that made it impossible to protect these kids from this monster. The system has broken down and it needs to be fixed but in order to do that, due process must be protected and utilized so that the proper people are punished for what they did OR did NOT do in the protection of those victims.
Did JoePa not do enough? I do not have enough information (not even his side of the story) to make an accurate determination. If it comes out that he could have done more, in my opinion he needs to get as much time if not more than Sandusky himself because he was complicit. The other side of the coin may come out that JoePa did what he could based on the circumstances and his hands were tied. If that is the case, does he get his job back? Maybe, but regardless, his legacy will be tainted and his morals will always be put into question because no one stood up for due process.
When I get up in the morning and look in the mirror, I am reminded everyday of that accident; it lives within the scars right next to lips and right under my nose. I try to disguise them with my five o'clock shadow but I know they are there. I decided to get a tattoo on my shoulder of a Cross with the word "Blessed" on it because that is precisely what I am! But those scars are never going anywhere.
I read the 23-page grand jury report regarding the scandal that has literally rocked the nation at Penn State University where an ex-coach, defensive coordinator for the nittany lions, has been accused of multiple accounts of child molestation among other things. In the wake of this scandal, Joe Paterno, legendary long-time football coach, has been fired from his coaching post at Penn State after 61 years of dedicated service. The university felt the public outcry was so strong against Paterno, the Board of Trustees for Penn State fired him.
As this case has evolved and more information keeps coming to the surface, it is a fair to say that the worse has yet to come. For example, it has been rumored that Sandusky was not only molesting these children through his foundation, but also "selling" them to rich donors to be molested also. I would like to go on record and say that I think Sandusky should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and the other thoughts I have about what should be done to him I will have to keep to myself because they are too graphic for a blog!
I want justice for these kids and I want Penn State to start paying for their healing process to start immediately. Regardless of the breakdown in the system and how this could even occcur, Penn State needs to move swiftly to make sure the victims are financially secure and stable to start the process of healing from this horrific incident.
BUT, and there is a but....
I do think that they moved too fast firing Joe Paterno and this may go against public opinion but that is precisely why he should not have been fired. During this whole scandal, I think our system of justice has been lost among the strong emotions attached to such nasty crimes. I get it, I do. Joe Paterno was fired because public outcry and politics demanded someone take the fall for this immediately and JoePa's head was put to the gauntlet. He was fired because the public felt as though he had a moral obligation to call the police himself when he found out that his old colleague was molesting children under the Penn State flag. Morally, it can be argued that he should have called the police.
But JoePa did report the crime up his chain of command in the hierarchy structure at Penn State. He followed protocol, he followed the rules laid out by Penn State. This has nothing to do with the moral aspect but what he was obligated to do professionally. And from that standpoint, he did was he was supposed to do.
So we have a dilemna, PROFESSIONAL OBLIGATION vs MORAL OBLIGATION. When is one applied and not the other? Does one trump the other? Is there one that should always and consistently be applied and another that should be applied based on a judgement call?
Here is another angle to look at this and this is why I think JoePa, just like Sandusky, should have their day in court. JoePa is a Father of five and dedicated 61 years to Penn State coaching kids and he did it without one scandal, he is at least owed a chance to tell his side of the story; he should be allowed his day in court. But I have some questions:
JoePa is a Father and long time coach and if you ask anybody about his character, he makes Honest Abe Lincoln look like Pinnochio; why did he not call the police?
Why didn't JoePa follow-up with the investigation?
Why didn't the people whom JoePa reported the crime to call the police?
Penn State acted prematurely because of the heinous account of the crimes committed and that is understandable but you only get one chance to get this right. There are two crimes that follow a person wherever they go like the scars on my face: Rapist and Child Molestor. The "child sex offender" label is something you carry around for the rest of your life and it is like the Scarlet Letter, everybody knows it. Even worse than being a molestor is being known or knowing you did not do anything to stop it or prevent it from happening again. You mine as well be the person doing the molesting.
It is crucial to find out where the process broke down that made it impossible to protect these kids from this monster. The system has broken down and it needs to be fixed but in order to do that, due process must be protected and utilized so that the proper people are punished for what they did OR did NOT do in the protection of those victims.
Did JoePa not do enough? I do not have enough information (not even his side of the story) to make an accurate determination. If it comes out that he could have done more, in my opinion he needs to get as much time if not more than Sandusky himself because he was complicit. The other side of the coin may come out that JoePa did what he could based on the circumstances and his hands were tied. If that is the case, does he get his job back? Maybe, but regardless, his legacy will be tainted and his morals will always be put into question because no one stood up for due process.
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