While riding to Norfolk State's Homecoming this past weekend, I was listening to Backspin and they played an old school favorite by a group called Ed O G and the Bulldogs called "Be a Father To Your Child," a Hip Hop Classic!!! The lyrics to this song are right on time and before their time so please give it a listen. After listening to this song, I thought about the article, I started thinking about my niece and nephew, I started thinking about my own parents, particularly my Father. Was my Father the perfect Dad? No, but he was there and he showed me how to be a man...
Fast forward, while at the Homecoming, I am sitting around with a couple of my Fraternity Brothers (shout outs go to Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc) and some of them are married with kids. The conversation revolved around kids and it was interesting listening to these gentlemen brag and talk about their sons and daughters. They showed pictures, smiled hard when talking about their achievements, baby-sitting duties, lack of sleep, I mean the whole gambit. Not one time did any of them even peep words of regret, anger, or frustration. As a matter of fact, they missed their kids and could not wait to get back to them. It was absolutely wonderful to listen to these men being in their children's lives but also wanting to be there for every step, for every moment and not miss a thing.
At one point, these same men were not married, they played video games and they were not in college. As time passed, they grew up, went to school and obtained degrees, they found the love of their life and put rings on their fingers and they put the video games down to help raise their children. Were they forced to do so, maybe, but they made the decision to be Fathers, to be Husbands, to be Men! I do not know when this changed and maybe the men that know better are not teaching the ones that do not but I do think both men and women could do something to change this sad state of affairs.
LADIES~
Ladies, I have said this time and time again, if you really want to see men change, you have to demand the change and be consistent, never waiver. You can first start off by changing your language; women oftentimes say they want a "thug," but not really understanding what they are requesting. What you want is a man that will make you feel secure when you are with him but what you are requesting is a man that does not care about his life, much less yours. What you are asking for and what you want are two different things and you get what you ask for.
Men are listening so when you request a "thug," guess what will start showing up around you. Give you a hint, throw you a lifeline...you guessed it, THUGS!!! Let's go out on a limb here and just think for a second, what if women stopped wanting thugs and started requesting smart, educated men? I am not saying you will see a total shift in the population of thugs applying for college but I can say that the population will decrease and present something different.
Ladies, if you want a man to take care of his kids, demand it or do not allow him to see his kids. And then you take him to court!!!! You want a man to be educated, buy him a book, demand more from him than the High School Diploma. If you want him to stop playing video games, stop buying him the PS2!
I am not saying it is going to be easy at all but women do have a certain power over men that if you used for good, could lead to the betterment of man. And please do not say it is not your responsibility because if you want something, if you want someone, you are just as much part of the problem as well as the solution!
FELLAS~
It is simple: WE ARE FAILING OUR WOMEN! For those of us that know better and are doing what you are suppose to be doing, it is now up to us to look at the man next to us who is not and pull him up and hold him accountable and responsible for what he should be doing. We need to press upon the fact that it is NOT COOL to play games and ignore your wife and children; it is NOT COOL not to have a degree and to be a productive member of society. It is NOT COOL to not conduct yourself as the MAN you are suppose to be.
We also have to start talking to the young boys, as soon as they can utter a word, and press upon them not only what a man is but also, HOW to be one. But that would require us to spend time with them and not with the Wii.
I do not want to come off like I am preaching but that article did make my blood boil a little. I did not necessarily take it personal but I know I could always do more. If you have other solutions, SPEAK OUT!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment