Now onto the business at hand.
AT&T has recently run a commercial in which two friends are on a ski lift and one friend ask the other could he ask his ex-girlfriend out on a date. Well, we see how he reacted! Let's take a look at a possible real life scenario:
Two roommates live together during college and become close friends. We will call them Jason and Justin for now. Justin had a girlfriend, Kim, throughout his undergrad years while Jason did a LOT of "dating." Jason was always cool with Justin's girlfriend; they would have conversations and sometimes would tag along whenever Justin and Kim would go out to say a new movie premiere. Fast forward, Justin and Kim breakup shortly after graduation and move to opposite ends of the United States. Justin and Jason remain close friends and still speak to each other almost daily.
Kim bumps into Jason at a restaurant and they enjoy a few laughs. Kim gives Jason her number and tells him to call her sometime. Jason calls her and Kim suggest they go out on a date. The story will stop here!!!
Should Jason inform Justin he re-connected with Kim?
Is it okay for Jason to go out with Kim?
If Jason were to go out with Kim, does Justin have every right to be upset with Jason?
Is there an expiration date or a time limit on dating a friend's ex-girlfriend?
Are the rules different for women?
The psyche, for a man, behind this examines the point in time when Jason decided Kim would be someone of interest for himself. If your close friend has a girlfriend, NOT someone he is just dating or having sex with, but someone he has elevated to new and rare heights, she is considered off limits forever. Justin has every right to question Jason's motives throughout his relationship with Kim. Justin could begin asking himself, "Was Jason scheming on Kim the whole time I was with her? What type of conversations were they having when I was not around? I wonder if they ever...?" These are fair questions to ask and if they cannot get answered, Justin may start to think about other times when Jason may have acted with ulterior motives.
Friendships are based solely on trust and a man wants to be able to trust his closest comrades in every way. When you start questioning the moves your friend makes, start analyzing his motives, the friendship is doomed.
First and foremost rules are rules with no discrimination of male or female. Dating ex’s of bff’s is totally against the rules, without a doubt a BIG NO-NO! Of course there are exceptions to every rule, and by no means are you off the hook. It’s a choice, so man up and make it. If you make this decision to date your bff’s ex than you better make damn sure that he/she is worth it, because your bff may choose to end the friendship… no if ands of butts about it. Just like every other decision in life, no one said it would be easy. BUT at the end of the day, we only get one life to live.
ReplyDelete~Molly~
See, it's questions/hypotheticals like this that get people hurt! LOL!
ReplyDeleteHell nah, if your boy elevated a girl to wifey status, then she's off limits FOR-EVER. Even if he was a dog while she was still wifey, that does not give one the permission to step in and be Prince-friggin-Charming. The only way to get around this is 1) you all were mad young when he dated her...like in high school or something or 2) your homeboy dies...but even then, he might come back and haunt your ass from the grave for getting with his old girl.
This is one of the most trust destroying things a guy could do. So if he does it, he should count on losing a friend and being with the chick forever.
Women, in my observation, they tend to be a bit more liberal with this rule even though they may as a whole preach a similar doctrine. I think the dating of ex's is more common among women than it is among men.