Good Day World...it is definitely too hot to do anything except sit around and talk about how hot it really is!!! Ladies, you are looking good but some of the fellas are starting to complain about the vegetable garden some of you are starting to grow and show. We are starting to see mushrooms (fat falling over the beltline), cottage cheese (back of the thighs), and it seems you all are also growing flour seeing how ashy the feet and legs have been. Remedies are simple. Sit-ups for the mushrooms, lunges for the cottage cheese and St. Ives for the flour!!!!
Fellas, your best friend or even a close homeboy has a wife or wifey (almost wife but no ring) that is real cool. She gets along with everyone; she also has a reputation to being somewhat flirty. Some say she is real friendly. One day you bump into her at the grocery store and the both of you speak, as usual, but this conversation takes on a little twist. You tell her about your dating issues and she proceeds to tell you "how great of a guy you are" and that a woman "would be crazy to pass up a great-looking guy like you." She then touches your arm in a flirty type of way.
Now you dont want to believe it because this is your friend's wifey but you are pretty sure she just flirted with you.
Do you tell your homeboy that his girl is flirting with you?
On the flipside, do you believe your homeboy if he tells you that your girlfriend is flirting with him?
SPEAK OUT!!!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Father vs. Dad
Circa 1997...I came home from my freshman year of college and I was shooting the breeze with my Pops. I am thinking it was a Sunday and I just came home from some early morning bump (pickup basketball games); my Pops was probably on his third of four newspapers he reads on Sundays.
My Dad is a ferocious reader and pretty much one of the smartest men I know. He could sit and have a conversation with ANYBODY!! Doctor, lawyer, engineer, trash man, it did not matter, Pops could talk to you about anything on any level.
He put the paper down for a second and asked me how my first year of college. He asked about my coursework and of course my grades. Pops never really worried about me obtaining high marks in school, he was used to it from me so it was expected, like standard operating procedure. He then made a statement that kind of threw me off, he said "Integration was the worst thing to happen to education..."
I just sat there for a second with a puzzled face, really did not have a response but I am thinking in my head my parents went to great lengths to make sure my siblings and I had a diverse education. An education where we would interact with not just people who looked like us but people from all cultures. I was attending a majority white school in the middle of one of the most lopsided (cultural wise) cities in Virginia. Umm yea, and now you hit me with this!!!?????
He recognized the confusion on my face and further explained. He asked when was the last time you took a class about your culture? A couple of pages in your History book does not count! When have you ever taken a class just on our culture? I did not have an answer; I could not answer him because in all my years of education, up to that point, I never took a class about Black people. And at that very moment, I realized I knew very little about me, my family, my history, my CULTURE.
Pops, indirectly, pushed me to take this challenge head on and change. He made me realize that integration was an issue because it forced Black students to learn another culture, not their own. When you know about your culture, you have more pride about self; there is comfort in knowing where you came from and the realization of what you can really achieve. This is a huge part in what we call self-esteem. So that next semester in school, I made sure I enrolled myself in a Black Studies course and made it a point to explore who I was, where I came from, my family heritage and what it means to be me, to be Black.
My DAD did all of that in a 10 minute conversation. My Dad made sure, from birth, that I would become the best MAN I could be. He deplored lying, cheating and stealing and when I tried all three, he promptly beat me for it. He taught me to fight for myself when I would continuously get my a** kicked on the block. He pushed me on the basketball court and made every one of my games. He showed how to dress and conduct myself as a gentleman. Simply, he instilled in me to always try to become a better man everyday.
I cannot put a price, a theory, a statistical analysis on the importance of a Dad in a child's life, especially a young man. The effects a Dad has on a daughter is just as great if not greater.
What is the difference between a Father and a Dad? A Father donates the sperm, a Dad is all of the above and then some.
I want to personally thank all the DADS out there for being more than a Father and wish you all a Happy DADDYS Day!!!!!
Which one do you have, a Father or a Dad???
SPEAK OUT!!!
My Dad is a ferocious reader and pretty much one of the smartest men I know. He could sit and have a conversation with ANYBODY!! Doctor, lawyer, engineer, trash man, it did not matter, Pops could talk to you about anything on any level.
He put the paper down for a second and asked me how my first year of college. He asked about my coursework and of course my grades. Pops never really worried about me obtaining high marks in school, he was used to it from me so it was expected, like standard operating procedure. He then made a statement that kind of threw me off, he said "Integration was the worst thing to happen to education..."
I just sat there for a second with a puzzled face, really did not have a response but I am thinking in my head my parents went to great lengths to make sure my siblings and I had a diverse education. An education where we would interact with not just people who looked like us but people from all cultures. I was attending a majority white school in the middle of one of the most lopsided (cultural wise) cities in Virginia. Umm yea, and now you hit me with this!!!?????
He recognized the confusion on my face and further explained. He asked when was the last time you took a class about your culture? A couple of pages in your History book does not count! When have you ever taken a class just on our culture? I did not have an answer; I could not answer him because in all my years of education, up to that point, I never took a class about Black people. And at that very moment, I realized I knew very little about me, my family, my history, my CULTURE.
Pops, indirectly, pushed me to take this challenge head on and change. He made me realize that integration was an issue because it forced Black students to learn another culture, not their own. When you know about your culture, you have more pride about self; there is comfort in knowing where you came from and the realization of what you can really achieve. This is a huge part in what we call self-esteem. So that next semester in school, I made sure I enrolled myself in a Black Studies course and made it a point to explore who I was, where I came from, my family heritage and what it means to be me, to be Black.
My DAD did all of that in a 10 minute conversation. My Dad made sure, from birth, that I would become the best MAN I could be. He deplored lying, cheating and stealing and when I tried all three, he promptly beat me for it. He taught me to fight for myself when I would continuously get my a** kicked on the block. He pushed me on the basketball court and made every one of my games. He showed how to dress and conduct myself as a gentleman. Simply, he instilled in me to always try to become a better man everyday.
I cannot put a price, a theory, a statistical analysis on the importance of a Dad in a child's life, especially a young man. The effects a Dad has on a daughter is just as great if not greater.
What is the difference between a Father and a Dad? A Father donates the sperm, a Dad is all of the above and then some.
I want to personally thank all the DADS out there for being more than a Father and wish you all a Happy DADDYS Day!!!!!
Which one do you have, a Father or a Dad???
SPEAK OUT!!!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Is It Mine?
Hello Family,
Let's talk about something I have always wondered and hopefully will never get caught up in this sort of quandry. Here is the scenario:
Fred is having a baby, well not him, but his wife. Fred is ecstatic!!!! He cannot wait to be a Father and he adores his wife to death. A couple of days after the baby is born, all of Fred's friends came over to see his newborn son. They praised him and blessed their new addition. When his friends left the house, Ed came out and just said it, "that baby looks nothing like Fred!". The rest of the guys were relieved because they felt the same way.
Should his friends tell Fred to get a blood test? If so, how do you deliver this news?
SPEAK OUT!!!!
Let's talk about something I have always wondered and hopefully will never get caught up in this sort of quandry. Here is the scenario:
Fred is having a baby, well not him, but his wife. Fred is ecstatic!!!! He cannot wait to be a Father and he adores his wife to death. A couple of days after the baby is born, all of Fred's friends came over to see his newborn son. They praised him and blessed their new addition. When his friends left the house, Ed came out and just said it, "that baby looks nothing like Fred!". The rest of the guys were relieved because they felt the same way.
Should his friends tell Fred to get a blood test? If so, how do you deliver this news?
SPEAK OUT!!!!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Your Jumpoff, His Wifey
Good Morning World!!!! It is literally heating up outside and everyone is excited about the BBQs, Day Parties, Rooftop Parties, the Beach, boats, and my favorite, WOMEN!!!!!
I am going to dive into this week's topic, "Your Jumpoff, His Wifey." Here is the scenario:
Chris is in college and he is considered THE Ladies' Man on campus. It is not a secret that Chris has had many "conquests" while in school. Chris is married now and has lost touch with any woman he has ever had relations with in college.
At a BBQ, one of Chris' closest friends, Carlton, brings a date and according to Carlton, it is getting serious. Now Chris and Carlton did not go to college together. When Chris finally comes to realize that he knows Carlton's date from college and they had relations, he goes into panic mode.
What does Chris do in this situation? Does he tell Carlton, his homeboy, about the "past" or does he leave Carlton in the dark???
SPEAK OUT!!!!
I am going to dive into this week's topic, "Your Jumpoff, His Wifey." Here is the scenario:
Chris is in college and he is considered THE Ladies' Man on campus. It is not a secret that Chris has had many "conquests" while in school. Chris is married now and has lost touch with any woman he has ever had relations with in college.
At a BBQ, one of Chris' closest friends, Carlton, brings a date and according to Carlton, it is getting serious. Now Chris and Carlton did not go to college together. When Chris finally comes to realize that he knows Carlton's date from college and they had relations, he goes into panic mode.
What does Chris do in this situation? Does he tell Carlton, his homeboy, about the "past" or does he leave Carlton in the dark???
SPEAK OUT!!!!
Monday, May 30, 2011
The Law - Memorial Day Edition
First off, I would like to express my gratitude for the sacrifices the men and women of the Armed Services have given to protect our way of life. THANK YOU!
With this Memorial Day Special Edition of Man Code, I just want to list some things that absolutely drive me insane that "men" do and they SHOULD NOT be doing. Let's explore...
1. If you and your homeboy decide to go to the bar, movies, dinner, etc together, please, please, put a seat in between the two of you. If you are at the movies, sit a seat apart; at the bar, a seat apart; if you are at dinner, dont sit beside each other, sit across from each other and this is ONLY if the bar area has no seats available!!!!
2. Fellas, I understand it is hot but THONG FLIP FLOPS are forbidden on a man's foot. I repeat, THONG FLIP FLOPS ARE FORBIDDEN!!!! I mean, for real, anything that has the word "thong" in its name should not be worn by a man to walk around unless he is at the beach. The beach is the only place where these sandals get a pass.
3. While at the club, you and your homeboy should never, under any circumstances share a drink from the same glass. Yes, I have seen this before. At the very least, ask for another glass!!! To be honest, if we are sharing drinks at the club, maybe we should not be at the club....????
4. Speaking of the club, and I swear this irks the holy living crap out of me. Why is it when you are standing in one spot and there is a lot of real estate around you will another guy come and stand pretty much right on top of you?? Really dude, really? Why are you on me homey? There are 10 million women in here and you want to air hump me in the corner...GO OVER THERE LOSER!!!! Bottom line, respect another man's air space in crowded areas as much as possible.
5. Fellas, you are not allowed to lip synch or sing aloud the words to Beyonce's "Who Run the World (Girls)" in public. In the privacy, and I mean private as in BY YOURSELF, of your own home you can do this if you so shall please but never in public!!! By the way, this is for any song by our female counterparts. This is only allowed in demonstration or explanation.
I will stop here for now and if you feel the need to ask some basic rules to Man Code Law, please do! Another special edition will be presented for your viewing pleasures on the Fourth of July.
With this Memorial Day Special Edition of Man Code, I just want to list some things that absolutely drive me insane that "men" do and they SHOULD NOT be doing. Let's explore...
1. If you and your homeboy decide to go to the bar, movies, dinner, etc together, please, please, put a seat in between the two of you. If you are at the movies, sit a seat apart; at the bar, a seat apart; if you are at dinner, dont sit beside each other, sit across from each other and this is ONLY if the bar area has no seats available!!!!
2. Fellas, I understand it is hot but THONG FLIP FLOPS are forbidden on a man's foot. I repeat, THONG FLIP FLOPS ARE FORBIDDEN!!!! I mean, for real, anything that has the word "thong" in its name should not be worn by a man to walk around unless he is at the beach. The beach is the only place where these sandals get a pass.
3. While at the club, you and your homeboy should never, under any circumstances share a drink from the same glass. Yes, I have seen this before. At the very least, ask for another glass!!! To be honest, if we are sharing drinks at the club, maybe we should not be at the club....????
4. Speaking of the club, and I swear this irks the holy living crap out of me. Why is it when you are standing in one spot and there is a lot of real estate around you will another guy come and stand pretty much right on top of you?? Really dude, really? Why are you on me homey? There are 10 million women in here and you want to air hump me in the corner...GO OVER THERE LOSER!!!! Bottom line, respect another man's air space in crowded areas as much as possible.
5. Fellas, you are not allowed to lip synch or sing aloud the words to Beyonce's "Who Run the World (Girls)" in public. In the privacy, and I mean private as in BY YOURSELF, of your own home you can do this if you so shall please but never in public!!! By the way, this is for any song by our female counterparts. This is only allowed in demonstration or explanation.
I will stop here for now and if you feel the need to ask some basic rules to Man Code Law, please do! Another special edition will be presented for your viewing pleasures on the Fourth of July.
Monday, May 23, 2011
UnWelcome Phenomenon - Skinny Jeans
"I am not against rappers, I am against those thugs!" - lyrics from Bones Thugs N Harmony's 90s hit "Thuggish Ruggish Bone", a throwback to when Hip Hop was still growing in its raw stage and becoming regionalized in different cities across the country. Hip Hop does not just represent the music but also the style, how you walk, talk, the clothes you wear.
Growing up, a lot of styles came about because of necessity, almost an accident that would turn into a style that was permanent rather than a fad that would run its course. For example, jeans; I remember having to buy those Levi Silver Tab jeans or just Levi's for that matter that were all snug and really tight around the areas where men should not be tight. I am like most men, we need room to breathe down there!! Now, in order to "breathe" we would have to "sag" the jeans some, pulling the jeans down but not exposing your backside arena. This was never to be disrespectful but moreso out of necessity to breathe and to be comfortable throughout the day.
When Cross Colours, Karl Kani, Used Jeans, etc arrived on the scene, they catered to that "breathing" requirement and made the jeans big enough so that we did not necessarily have to sag anymore. This new wave of jeans were stylish, baggy, and comfortable.
I am a grown-up now, or at least I pretend to be, and I do not wear jeans as often as I would like but the jeans I do wear fit. They are not too baggy but definitely not too tight. I look like a GROWN MAN!!!
"I AM NOT AGAINST JEANS, I AM AGAINST THOSE SKINNY JEANS!!!"
Call me old fashion (good Lawd, i sound like my parents) but I do not understand why our young people have taken us back twenty years with this whole skinny jeans thing. I mean, have you seen these atrocities to fashion (lmaoo)? They cant walk sometimes, at least not in a straight line, but more in a side to side type of movement. The jeans are so tight they look like they have to be painted on and how they get them off is beyond me!!! And to top it all off, they have the nerve to sag them wayyyy below the backside area and then have the nerve to have a belt on!!!!! I DONT GET IT!!!
Okay, I can admit, I maybe being a bit unreasonable and just plain old but is this suppose to be sexy or something. From a man code perspective, this is unacceptable and intolerable!! Interesting enough, I think if more young men understood that this sort of "style" comes from prison culture in which the men that were considered "man-p*ssy" (sorry for the explicit lyrics) were identified by others by the way they wore their pants, which was below the backside, they would pull them up!!!
So, in essence, we have a generation of young men adopting a prison culture for the sake of style and maybe to impress women. I BLAME THE LADIES OUT THERE!!! If women would stand up against this "style", it would not exist or at least it would go away fast. Maybe I am just old and going overboard.
Your thoughts, SPEAK OUT!!!
Growing up, a lot of styles came about because of necessity, almost an accident that would turn into a style that was permanent rather than a fad that would run its course. For example, jeans; I remember having to buy those Levi Silver Tab jeans or just Levi's for that matter that were all snug and really tight around the areas where men should not be tight. I am like most men, we need room to breathe down there!! Now, in order to "breathe" we would have to "sag" the jeans some, pulling the jeans down but not exposing your backside arena. This was never to be disrespectful but moreso out of necessity to breathe and to be comfortable throughout the day.
When Cross Colours, Karl Kani, Used Jeans, etc arrived on the scene, they catered to that "breathing" requirement and made the jeans big enough so that we did not necessarily have to sag anymore. This new wave of jeans were stylish, baggy, and comfortable.
I am a grown-up now, or at least I pretend to be, and I do not wear jeans as often as I would like but the jeans I do wear fit. They are not too baggy but definitely not too tight. I look like a GROWN MAN!!!
"I AM NOT AGAINST JEANS, I AM AGAINST THOSE SKINNY JEANS!!!"
Call me old fashion (good Lawd, i sound like my parents) but I do not understand why our young people have taken us back twenty years with this whole skinny jeans thing. I mean, have you seen these atrocities to fashion (lmaoo)? They cant walk sometimes, at least not in a straight line, but more in a side to side type of movement. The jeans are so tight they look like they have to be painted on and how they get them off is beyond me!!! And to top it all off, they have the nerve to sag them wayyyy below the backside area and then have the nerve to have a belt on!!!!! I DONT GET IT!!!
Okay, I can admit, I maybe being a bit unreasonable and just plain old but is this suppose to be sexy or something. From a man code perspective, this is unacceptable and intolerable!! Interesting enough, I think if more young men understood that this sort of "style" comes from prison culture in which the men that were considered "man-p*ssy" (sorry for the explicit lyrics) were identified by others by the way they wore their pants, which was below the backside, they would pull them up!!!
So, in essence, we have a generation of young men adopting a prison culture for the sake of style and maybe to impress women. I BLAME THE LADIES OUT THERE!!! If women would stand up against this "style", it would not exist or at least it would go away fast. Maybe I am just old and going overboard.
Your thoughts, SPEAK OUT!!!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Cheating
Two years ago it was reported that 1 in 2.7 men will cheat on their wife; that number has probably escalated to 1 in 3 men today. Worse part is that most of the wives will never know it. Being the single man that I am and having friends that are married, it is usually best that I take the "none of my business" approach to any man's indiscretions.
Does this mean that I am condoning the cheating; I mean after all, "I am my brother's keeper." Am I suppose to step up and read my homeboy the "thou shall not cheat" script? This is a grown man that knows better so will it really matter what I have to say?
But what if the situation was a little closer to home. In an earlier blog, I asked if it was okay for your homeboy to date your sister. What if your close friend broke this rule and married your sister. You know where I am going with this!!!! And now your homeboy cheats on your sister...POW! BAM! BOOM!!!
Do you say anything? If so, what do you say and who do you say it to? If not, why not?
What if the woman was a close female friend? Do you take the same approach and say anything?
Illy Jilly from Philly, Miss Jill Scott, said it best: "Your backgroung aint squeaky clean, sometimes we all have to swim upstream; you aint a saint, we all sinners, but you put your good foot down to make your soul a winner..."
Speak Out!!!
Does this mean that I am condoning the cheating; I mean after all, "I am my brother's keeper." Am I suppose to step up and read my homeboy the "thou shall not cheat" script? This is a grown man that knows better so will it really matter what I have to say?
But what if the situation was a little closer to home. In an earlier blog, I asked if it was okay for your homeboy to date your sister. What if your close friend broke this rule and married your sister. You know where I am going with this!!!! And now your homeboy cheats on your sister...POW! BAM! BOOM!!!
Do you say anything? If so, what do you say and who do you say it to? If not, why not?
What if the woman was a close female friend? Do you take the same approach and say anything?
Illy Jilly from Philly, Miss Jill Scott, said it best: "Your backgroung aint squeaky clean, sometimes we all have to swim upstream; you aint a saint, we all sinners, but you put your good foot down to make your soul a winner..."
Speak Out!!!
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