Someone knocking on my door on a Saturday morning was a rarity in my neighborhood and you never did so unannounced. My Father answers the door and there standing is a young lady and her Father. My Father, Mr. George Moore, politely asked in his Barry White voice, "Good Morning, what can I do for you today?"
The other Father said, "Yes, my name is Mr. X and I would like to speak to you about the rape of my daughter by your son." My Mother and I overheard this and I think both of our faces fell to the floor. George invited the gentleman in with his daughter and sat them on our couch. George and my Mother, Shelli, sat on one couch, the Father and daughter on the other while I sat on the stairs in plain site.
Rewind about 10 hours ago:
I get a beep from this girl that has been telling me for the past few weeks in school she wants to sex me. I was 16 and still a virgin; all of my friends had been engaging in sexual acts for "years" now so I literally was the Last of the Mohicans. I was captain on the basketball team and a pretty popular person in and outside my school and even though sex was not openly talked about, you knew who was doing it and who was not. My friends knew I was still a virgin but it was not public knowledge. At one point, they tried to de-virginize me by basically throwing a girl onto me but I did not want it to go down this way, I wanted to lose my virginity my way.
I was not expecting some nice planned out situation to lose it but I did not want to turn it into some sort of bartering exchange of goods and services. So I finally took this young lady up on her offer and told her to beep me Friday night when she was ready to do the do. Now, I am only 16 and I still live at home so it is not like I had a spot to take her to nor did I have the money for a cheap motel. So I did what any young, horny teenager would do in this situation, we did the do in my hooptie!
She beeped me late in the evening and that was the signal for me to come pick her up from her house. She would sneak out (her parents were very strict) and we would go and park in the park. We did what we wanted to do and I was no longer a virgin. I took her home and she would sneak back into her home.
Well apparently she did not do a good job because she was at my house the next morning accusing me of rape!
Back to Saturday Morning:
"Your son raped my daughter last night and I want to know what you are going to do about it..." the Father said to George. George, without hesitation, responded, "My son would never rape your daughter or any other women. I would like to hear from your daughter what happened and my son will explain the events of this 'alleged' rape."
At this point, George nor my Mother ever asked me if I raped anybody and they did not have to. They raised me and knew what I was fully capable of. I was no angel as a kid growing up but if you knew me, you knew I was never capable of rape.
Both sides told their story and eventually the young lady broke down and told the truth to her Father. She admitted to lying about being raped because she did not want to get in trouble for sneaking out of the house. She admitted the sex was consensual and that I never forced her to do anything. Her Father stood up like a man and graciously apologized to my family and I and they left. Immediately, my house went back to normal with everyone doing what they were doing like this episode never happened. To this day, we have never spoken about this incident.
Today, 2012:
I think about the young man, Brian Banks, who was recently exonerated for the alleged rape he was accused of committing his senior year in high school. His accuser was caught on tape admitting she was never raped and was scared to come forward for fear of losing the $1.5 million her and her family won in a civil suit based on this lie.
Kudos to Brian Banks for not wanting to choke the life out of this woman he actually sat across from while recording her confession. Cheers to Brian for not wanting to take any legal action against his accuser, Wanetta Gibson, or pursue any civil action against her for the pain and suffering and the loss of a football scholarship to USC. A round of applause goes to Brian for letting go the hurt, vengeance, and the need to revenge this dreadful act.
But there are some other issues that need to be addressed and understood before this is an open and shut case. What about the women out there who are really raped? This makes it even harder for them to come forward without the fear of being told they were lying or convinced that it was consensual. Someone on the hill needs to pass a law that false accusations of rape should result in the conviction of the "accuser" and be punished to the full extent.
Brian Banks is still a registered sex offender. Although he has been exonerated, "sex offender" will be attached to every job application he submits. How does a man who did nothing wrong start over in a society that deems him a menace? He cannot get those years back so that is a forgone conclusion. If he is lucky, he may still get a shot at playing football at the collegiate level if a compassionate coach gives him a chance. And how do you even begin to fix the psychological effects prison has on a young man?
Speaking of psyche, and this is what affected me the most also, how do you go forward and trust women completely? As a man, you are taught that "No" means "No" and anything that happens after that is considered a violation. I have even taken it a step further and made it a rule to never have sex with a woman if she is intoxicated, unless she is my girlfriend and/or wife. How can you prevent yourself from second-guessing the motives of a woman especially if you have something to lose?
When a woman lies about being raped, the victim is not just the person being accused. Every woman this man encounters from this point on maybe dealing with a man with trust issues. If untreated, this man could move forward but still have unhealthy relationships with women because a woman betrayed him at a young, impressionable age.
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