Humble, Yes A Bad Word

Humble is a versatile word that takes on somewhat different meanings depending on how it is being used.  For example, if I say "In my humble opinion" or "IMHO", for all of those who do not like to write actual phrases anymore, the word humble here means "courteously respectful." So instead of calling the person a freaking idiot and telling them they are outright wrong, you extend some courtesy and respect and let them know in a nice manner that you think their opinion is not correct.

Then there is the other way it is often used; we tend to say things like:

"In the presence of greatness, I felt very humble"

"I come from humble beginnings..."

or my least favorite

"You need to humble yourself!"

In the first example, humble means "having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience." Really, inferior? The next example means "low in rank, importance, status, quality." Wow, my beginnings are of low quality and rank????  The last example means "to lower in condition, importance, dignity; to destroy the independence, power, or will of; to make meek."  I have to lower and/or destroy myself, yes, that's what that statement means!

Thank goodness for mentors because I have been using this word for so long and now I know that it is a bad word.  You know they say the "Pledge Process" is supposed to be a humbling experience? Yea, you know the pledge process for Black Greek Lettered Organizations that are meant to "breakdown" then "build back up" our young people and "humble" them.  This is the same process that currently places potential members into hospitals with permanent physical and emotional injuries and scars and sometimes has lead to death.  Yea, so much for a good example of a "humbling" experience!

You really have to think about what it means when a person says that you need to "humble" yourself.  What are they really saying? Are they saying I need to not be so proud of who I am or my accomplishments? Are they saying I need to feel inferior or less important? Do they want me to be powerless and less independent in my thoughts and actions?

I hope not because what this word (when used like the examples above) tells me is that the person telling me to "humble" myself is afraid of me; they are afraid to be happy for me and who I am and what I have accomplished.  They want me to join them in their misery and/or failures.  Or maybe they are just jealous and are too proud to say, hey, "I am proud of you!"

Maybe I am wrong and over-exaggerating but I will tell you this much, it is not a good idea to ever say that word to me again!  I will not get angry if it is said to me but I will definitely explore the feelings of the person thinking I should lower myself and not be proud of who I am.

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