The Essence of Ogling

We are all human, well women tend to think that men are from another planet, even another species.  I am here to tell you that at some point, I actually thought they were right!!!!  But I came back to my senses and just accepted that men and women are just different.  One glaring difference seems to be in the form of staring or what has been termed the Ogle.

This special sixth sense for man has been studied, dissected, and microscoped to its very end and it has been determined that Ogling is part of a man's DNA.  Yes, National Geographic has determined that a certain strand in a man's DNA is programmed for the Ogle.  Since science has determined that this cannot be changed, removed, or erased from our being, we should just accept it and all get along!!!  But I am fair and would love to dive into the rules and parameters that men should follow if they are going to ogle without offending the one they love.

The Essence...

Situation 1:  Husband and wife walking down the street, husband sees very attractive woman in a tight skirt, long nice legs, C-cups and a smile in some 4-inch heels.  Does he do:

a.  turn around as she walks by
b.  as she walks by he merely just moves his eyes
c.  close his eyes and hopes he doesn't trip

Answer:

B - As she walks by, he is ALLOWED a quick glance with the eyes which should take all of .06 seconds. 

Situation 2:  From above, if wife sees the glance, he should:

a.  Lie and say he didnt see anything
b.  Smile and pretend she is not talking
c.  Ask wife what she thinks about her outfit

Answer:

C - You have now bought yourself more time to ogle if you ask the wife to look at her too; while she looks at her dress, you can "look" at her dress too.  Sidenote - the longer the conversation, the longer the ogle.

Situation 3: Husband and wife are out to eat at Ruth's Chris (hopefully she is paying) and a gorgeous, college co-ed is your server.  She is now at your table taking your order.  Do you:

a.  Drop the menu you were reading and give her the head lean
b.  Give her extra small talk while burning a hole in her chest with your eyes
c.  Quickly greet and immediately turn ALL attention to your wife

Answer:

C - If you want to keep the taste buds in your mouth long enough to enjoy that primerib you want to order, you will immediately acknowledge (to yourself) how gorgeous the server is and then immediately turn to your wife until said threat has left the table.


These rules and others are not just for married couples, they apply to any "relationship" whether you are on a first date or have been married 50 years.

Are there other situations that men need to know what to do in order to at least remain respectful? Now, the only answer that will not work is "Just don't ogle!"  That's just impossible because National Geographic proved it is in our DNA. 

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