Man UP - DOWN low

There is an interesting article a friend of mine sent to me written by 3 Ph.Ds about the origins of Homosexuality and the "Gay Gene".  A very interesting, thought provoking read and if you want to read it, please feel free.  I know growing up being gay was not meant that you were happy and it was very rarely talked about.  And there actually was not a whole lot of information available, the only thing you needed to know was that you did not want to be accused of being gay.  As a matter of fact, if you wanted to start a fight with ANYBODY, you called them a "b*tch" or a "f*ggot" which meant you were gay.  I have seen some brutal fights at the mere accusation you were gay.

Today, we have legalized gay marriages in about six states so we have come a long way in the last 20 to 25 years and I am sure we will go even further.  But there are still a considerable amount of men living their lives "in the closet" or on the "down low".  Two terms that are similar in nature but their intent and purpose are drastically different. 

First, do I really care if a man is gay or not.  Put it to you like this, I have never concerned myself with what another man does in the privacy of his own bedroom.  I have my hands full just trying to make sure what goes down in my bedroom is nothing short of fantastic!!! LOL  So I really just take a "none of my business" approach to this topic.  Unfortunately, not everyone feels the way I do.  There are people out there that think homosexuality is a choice and it can be prayed away, "Pray away the Gay" or something like that.  Why would anyone choose a life that puts them under constant attack and discrimination is beyond me but I digress. 

The term "in the closet" or "living  in the closet" is a phrase to describe a homosexual living in secrecy about their sexual origin.  From what I have seen growing up, witnessing the hardships and physical harm gay men have had to endure, I would keep my sexuality a secret also.  Anybody that comes "out of the closet" (term to mean to reveal the fact that you are gay) is a super brave human being in my book and should be commended.  I got picked on because I am pigeon-toed and I have big lips CONSTANTLY; the torture a young man must go through being gay is unfathomable and I would not wish that on any man.  Is "living in the closet" right or wrong? I do not think a right or wrong answer can be applied to this situation unless you have walked those shoes.

A man on the "down low" of "DL" is a man who discreetly has sex with other men while in sexual relationships with women.  Often these men do not consider themselves gay or bisexual and their female partners are not aware that they have sex with other men, thus the term "down low" or "in hiding". There is a huge psychological component to being on the "DL" I will not get into but this is what I wholeheartedly do not agree with and where gay men need to do better.

Regardless of popular opinion, gay men are STILL men and they fall under the same rules every other man follows and that is to be honest and have some integrity.  Yes, maybe, well not maybe, but as a society, we need to be more welcoming of the gay community so a safe space exist for gay men to come out of the closet and not be on the down low.  But "down low" behavior is inexcusable and goes against everything a man stands for.

Being "in the closet" does not affect others around you, at least not physically and health wise but "DL" men hurt other people; they hurt the women they are involved with and lying to as well as the other men they are involved with also. 

I do not know the answers but I do understand men "in the closet" but I do not agree with "DL" and maybe it is up to the rest of us to create an atmosphere where neither one of these things exist.

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