Definition of a Man

Taking a quick glance at the definition of man, you will see definitions such as “an individual human”, “a bipedal primate mammal”, and my favorite “one possessing in high degree the qualities considered distinctive of manhood” It is this last definition I will focus in on, particularly the phrase “qualities considered distinctive of manhood.”  

When I first started off writing this blog and I was discussing some of the topics with some real close friends, of course longer discussions ensued and great points were brought up, perspectives I had never considered.  The actual meaning of man was a big topic of discussion because depending upon who you are, your background, your past experiences, your own perception, the term man and what a man should possess can be totally different from the next person.

For example, my homeboy’s girlfriend (they been together about 4 years now) said to him one day that her past boyfriends did not take care of the household, they did not necessarily pay all the bills, take out the garbage, etc. She never experienced the sort of security blanket my boy provides for her up until now.  So her perspective of what a man is and what he is supposed to do has evolved.

Some women don’t think you are a man unless he beats on you.  As far fetched as that sounds, if you grew up in the sort of household where the Father constantly and consistently beat up on the Mother and the Mother never stood up for herself or left, you begin to think that is normal; you begin to think that all men are supposed to do those things and you, as a woman, are suppose to take it.  I mean, why not, your first experience, your first relationship with the opposite sex are with your parents. 

I provide these examples to open up discussion on what exactly is or what are the roles of a man in relation to Man Code?  Some men are “trained” and “groomed” to be gentlemen (open up doors, pull out chairs), pay bills on time, take care of the home, work hard and earn an honest dollar.  Others grow up in an environment where the aforementioned may not be seen as important or deemed “silly”, “punk-ish”, “soft”, etc. 

As a man, does our childhood environment affect what we come to believe in as adults and do these beliefs shape our Man Code?  Is it possible for man’s Code to evolve based on beliefs that are opposite of the environment one grew up in?

Introduction: What is Man Code?

What exactly is "Man Code?" Let's breakdown the term in its simplest form; of course there is man, obviouse and then there is code.  Dictionary meaning of code; a systematic collection of regulations and rules of procedure or conduct.  So simply Man Code is a collection of regulations and/or rules of procedure or conduct for man.  Man Code is for man but can be applied to women in some cases; this blog will focus on Man Code from the male perspective BUT all comments, suggestions, inquiries are very much welcome from our female counterparts. 

Why is the concept of Man Code important? Every man should have a code, a collection, per se, of rules that he stands for, that governs his every day life...a do's and dont's type of thing. Some of these "rules" revolve around discipline, integrity, honesty, class, truth, honor, and loyalty. A man with a code has power, moreso "self-power", if there is such a thing, over the events, situations, etc that happen around him. People have to be able to look at that man and be able to say, "no, that is not something he would do b/c he stands for...." Can you look at the men you know around you and say to yourself, "that man right there stands for something?" IF you CAN, more than likely, if you engage that man in a conversation, you will discover some sort of code, a behavior that is consistent with his actions as a man.